"A life-long blessing for children is to fill them with warm memories of times together. Happy memories become treasures in the heart to pull out on the tough days of adulthood." - Charlotte Davis Kasl
Thursday, 16 December 2010
Thursday, 9 December 2010
"Once you label me, you negate me." - Soren Kierkegaard
Wednesday, 8 December 2010
"A life lived with integrity - even if it lacks the trappings of fame and fortune is a shining star in whose light others may follow in the years to come." - Denis Waitley
Monday, 6 December 2010
Saturday, 4 December 2010
"What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility." - Leo Tolstoy
"The principles we live by, in business and in social life, are the most important part of happiness." - Harry Harrison
Friday, 26 November 2010
"Knowledge of what is possible is the beginning of happiness." - George Santayana
Tuesday, 23 November 2010
The butterfly is so bright and beautiful. It flits around darting, seemingly without care or purpose, here to there, hither and thither.
I watch them in my garden - the first sighting in spring is always a great surprise to me and I watch with childlike intrigue following it's every move, wondering where it's going, what lies in store for this delicate creature?
Sometimes when I'm driving here and there catching up with friends, flying down to England to catch up with my daughters and the friends I made in Wiltshire, friends from a time in my life that appears to belong to someone else, I feel like that spring butterfly.
One year I stayed in a holiday house on one of the western isles of Scotland, in the living room displayed on the wall was a selection of butterflies with their wings pinned down, framed and sealed in one place forevermore.
I didn't like seeing them like this, it unnerved me, upsetting to see them so stationary, no flickering wings, no journeying with a destination unknown - just there - encased.
For now I embrace the opportunities I have from being able to travel and move freely from here to there, but at some point I want to be stationary, no pinning down of my wings, but me choosing to stop.
"Happiness is a butterfly, which when pursued, is always just beyond your grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you." - Nathaniel Hawthorne
Sunday, 21 November 2010
"The first step towards getting somewhere is to decide that you are not going to stay where you are." - John Pierpont Morgan
Tuesday, 16 November 2010
"If you want to be successful it's this simple. Know what you are doing. Love what you are doing. And believe it what you are doing"- Will Rogers
Saturday, 13 November 2010
When I'm teaching a client how to constructively express themselves I often hear the expression, "Yes, but....".
What usually follows is something like, "Yes, but.. there's no point in me saying that to that person as it won't change them.." or, "Yes, but..if I say that I might ruin my friendship with them or upset that person!"
Constructive expression is the opposite of destructive expression.
When we keep grounded, noticing what we feel and saying it while staying connected to our body, we are going to be in a calmer place. Our words will be clear, concise and the way we deliver it will be unpretentious, the result is that the person you're speaking to is more likely to actually hear you.
When we are "wound up" and stuck in our heads..hell bent on letting that person hear what WE FEEL we are wrapped up in our ego and can blurt out any number of emotive, hurtful words.
This is destructive expression and is not what the peace loving, all knowing bodymind wants for you.
"Yes, but ... what if"...is a sign that you are not staying grounded in this moment. You have moved away from your body and are predicting the future, analysing and over thinking what might or might not happen.
Remember your body does not differentiate between you holding in your grief, or holding in your joy. It wants all emotions to be expressed....while keeping an alignment between your body and your head!
Do not worry either if by saying what you really feel now your, "Yes but.." is concerned with it not being what others expect you to say - others who thought they knew you! This can be a liberating journey for you, a time to notice what you feel and a time for others to hear it - constructively!
Enjoy practising staying in the NOW!
"Be yourself and speak your mind today, though it contradict all you have said before." - Elbert Hubbard
Saturday, 6 November 2010
"Turn your face to the sun and the shadows fall behind you." - Maori proverb
Wednesday, 3 November 2010
"Women complain about pre-menstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself." - Roseanne Barr
Sunday, 31 October 2010
"Mindfulness is simply being aware of what is happening right now without wishing it were different; enjoying the pleasant without holding on when it changes (which it will); being with the unpleasant without fearing it will always be this way (which it won't)." - James Baraz.
Sunday, 24 October 2010
"Somehow I can't believe that there are any heights that can't be scaled by a man who knows the secrets of making dreams come true. This special secret, it seems to me, can be summarized in four C's. They are curiosity, confidence, courage and constancy." - Walt Disney.
Tuesday, 19 October 2010
"The ache for home lives in all of us, the safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned." - Maya Angelou
Sunday, 10 October 2010
"Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars." - Kahlil Gibran
Tuesday, 5 October 2010
"Stress is basically a disconnection from the earth, a forgetting of the breath" - Natalie Goldberg.
Sunday, 26 September 2010
"Don't let your mind bully your body into believing it must carry the burden of its worries." - Astrid Alauda
Thursday, 16 September 2010
He made me laugh when he spoke about how many times we blame our mothers for the problems in our lives.
He explained that in a session with a client he got so tired hearing her go on about how she couldn't do this or that, as result of how her mother had been when she was growing up, that exasperated he said, "Okay, get up and go home!"
"Why? What do you mean?!" questioned the confused client.
"Go home and get your mother! I'll work with her and once she's fixed you'll be fixed!"
By passing the buck and continually using, "the mum excuse" we avoid taking responsibility for our own happiness, which in turn means we are only depriving ourselves from achieving the life we want.
I too have been guilty of buying into that theory. I listen to a story from a client and think, "No wonder they lack confidence with a mother who criticised so effectively!" At some point, for our own benefit, we have to throw that belief away; shed it like a beautiful butterfly leaving the cocoon.
Mothers parent to the best of their ability. Sometimes it will have felt wrong, and often they were right, but what use does it serve us now to trawl through the memories of how they parented?
You are an adult now and can make choices for yourself. There is no time like the present to make a conscious decision to get on with achieving what you want from this life. Your time here is precious. Enjoy it!
"One of the blessings of becoming an adult is finally seeing Mom and Dad as people, not just parents." - Sara Shandler
" I think being an adult is learning not to be ashamed of what you want. And I think for a lot of us, it's hard to admit even to ourselves what it is we want. Much less to have other people see it." - Ira Glass, in a conversation with poetry editor Zoe Francesca.
Monday, 13 September 2010
"Nine tenths of education is encouragement." - Anatole France
" If you want your children to improve, let them overhear the nice things you say about them to others." - Haim Ginott
Sunday, 12 September 2010
"When you discover your mission, you will feel its demand. It will fill you with enthusiasm and a burning desire to get to work on it." - W. Clement Stone.
Friday, 10 September 2010
"And if tonight my soul may find her peace in sleep, and sink in good oblivion, and in the morning wake like a new - opened flower then I have dipped again in God, and new created." - D. H. Lawrence
Monday, 6 September 2010
Mother Teresa of Calcutta once said, "the most terrible poverty is loneliness, and the feeling of being unloved," I hear of loneliness so often from a cross section of my clients. It is not an older persons problem - it doesn't seem to discriminate, and can affect anyone.
It can be really daunting for the lonely to imagine taking steps towards meeting new people and building friendships. They often find it hard to believe that with great regularity I meet clients who are desperately sad as a result of feeling completely alone.
They can have busy work lives, surrounded by colleagues, and when the day is over those colleagues might drive home to a house full of family members - while they dread clocking off time as they know it will be many hours until the morning, and a time when they can feel "normal" again, back to the hustle and bustle of their working day.
Holiday time can see an increase in the depth of despair the lonely person feels. So sad when it should be a time to recoup and recharge their batteries.
I encourage all my clients to have some time on their own every day, as I do believe it to be health inducing, but when solitary time is all a person has, it becomes quite destructive to them emotionally and physically.
If you think you might know someone who is alone, speak to them - sometimes that's all it takes to get them to let go of the belief that no-one cares.
"The person who tries to live alone will not succeed as a human being. His heart withers if it does not answer another heart. His mind shrinks away if he hears only the echoes of his own thoughts and finds no other inspiration." - Pearl S. Buck
Saturday, 4 September 2010
"Possession of material riches, without inner peace, is like dying of thirst while bathing in a lake." - Paramahansa Yogananda
Wednesday, 1 September 2010
" The things you want are always possible; it is just that the way you get them is not always apparent. The only real obstacle in your path to a fulfilling life is you, and that can be a considerable obstacle because you carry the baggage of insecurities and past experience." - Les Brown.
Sunday, 29 August 2010
"Spontaneity is the quality of being able to do something just because you feel like it at the moment, of trusting your instincts, of taking yourself by surprise and snatching from the clutches of your well organized routine a bit of unscheduled pleasure." - Richard Iannelli
Friday, 27 August 2010
"Nobody grows old merely by living a number of years. We grow old by deserting our ideals. Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul." - Samuel Ullman
Monday, 23 August 2010
"Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it's better to leave them broken than to hurt yourself putting it back together." - Anonymous
Saturday, 21 August 2010
"Groundforce?? GROUNDFORCE the gardening programme you mean?" Tina questioned.
Monday, 16 August 2010
"Good humour is a tonic for mind and body. It is the best antidote for anxiety and depression. It is a business asset. It attracts and keeps friends. It lightens human burdens. It is the direct route to serenity and contentment." - Greenville Kleisser.
Sunday, 15 August 2010
"A healthy attitude is contagious but don't wait to catch it from others. Be a carrier." - Tom Stoppard
Saturday, 14 August 2010
"A warrior of light is never indifferent to injustice. He knows that all is one and that each individual action affects everyone on the planet. That is why, when confronted by the suffering of others, he uses his sword to restore order." - Paulo Coelho.
Friday, 6 August 2010
"The most valuable things in life are not measured in monetary terms. The really important things are not houses and lands, stocks and bonds, automobiles and real estate, but friendships, trust, confidence, empathy, mercy, love and faith." - Bertrand Russell
Tuesday, 3 August 2010
"Gratitude: You are aware of the good things that happen to you, and you never take them for granted. You always take the time to express your thanks. Gratitude is an appreciation of someone else's excellence in moral character. As an emotion, it is a sense of wonder, thankfulness, and appreciation for life itself. We are grateful when people do well by us, but we can also be more generally grateful for good acts and good people ("How wonderful life is while you're in the world"). Gratitude can also be directed toward impersonal and nonhuman sources - God, nature, animals - but it cannot be directed toward the self. When in doubt, remember that the word comes from the Latin, gratia, which means grace." - Martin E.P Seligman, Ph.D
Sunday, 1 August 2010
Brought up in the same household, though the memories can be quite different. Sharing the same fertilizer and growbag - same nutrients, same environment. My sister, Ellie lives in Melbourne with her partner and children and we talk on the phone regularly to catch up on each others news. I miss being the kind of Auntie that can step in at the last minute to babysit, or just pop round to hang out at their house. Ellie and I shared a bedroom when we were growing up. In that room were two single beds and a double, we always shared the double - much cosier! She's three years older than me and she looked after me well :) After a long day picking potatoes on cold October days I'd be crying with back pain and she'd let me get in the bath first to help ease the pain! I wouldn't want you to think that Ellie and I have never had our "moments" of course we have! But even when we disagree we can sort it out and be close again. Ellie also had a devilish side when we were younger (I should add that I'm not implying I didn't!). If I couldn't get to sleep at night I'd ask her to play me a tune on her guitar, something beautiful. She would start playing very gently, and I would feel myself drifting into that heavy, restful place just about to drop over to blissful sleep when she'd suddenly start doing a bad imitation of a Spanish guitarist, slapping the wood of the guitar with the palm of her hand and strumming loudly - BRAT! :)
It always makes me sad when I hear that siblings have had such major disagreements that they no longer have contact with each other, but at the same time I know it's unrealistic to maintain a relationship with anyone, sibling or not, if it's destructive and damaging. I'm grateful that I don't have that issue and hope that you have the best possible relationship with the siblings in your life :)
"If you don't understand how a woman could both love her sister dearly and want to wring her neck at the same time, then you were probably an only child." - Linda Sunshine