tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25125223265463300392024-03-13T13:03:43.644+00:00Keeping body and mind togetherKathleen Kettleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02317076380504668072noreply@blogger.comBlogger203125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2512522326546330039.post-64706413537342965422018-11-10T19:32:00.000+00:002018-11-10T19:32:06.031+00:00On giving praise and support.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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At some time or another I'm sure we've all heard it said that in Britain we tend to pay attention to someone's failures rather than celebrating their successes.<br />
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I find this baffling. <br />
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Today on BBC Radio 4 I heard a woman say it again with regards to a battle we won that we rarely hear about - she finished by saying,<br />
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"<i>Of course we're more likely to hear about the battles we lost than the battles we won!</i>"<br />
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I'm not convinced this is <i>always </i>the case - but I do know I'm tired of witnessing glee at someone's demise rather than elation at their happiness, contentment or achievement.<br />
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When a friend, loved one, or a client has a success - whatever form that takes - I am genuinely delighted for them.<br />
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I share their joy and jubilation because I am privileged to be the person they've chosen to tell their story to. I'm grateful to be around when someone overcomes self doubt and many unspoken, private obstacles to reach their goal. <br />
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Success is such a personal and unique experience. The observer gleans only a snippet of the battles and self sabotaging thoughts they have managed to subdue in order to stay on the path to where they want to be.<br />
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Be kind.<br />
Be grateful.<br />
Be gracious.<br />
Be humble.<br />
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When someone wants to share with you - be still and be quiet! Listen and appreciate that they've chosen to speak to you. <br />
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Isn't it better to listen, support, encourage and praise than ignore, chastise, discourage and condemn? <br />
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We are all struggling in one way or another and small wins should be celebrated! Let's build each others confidence and bit by bit maybe we can turn this old belief around - maybe one day Britain can be a place where we get pleasure hearing of an individual's achievements, and if someone fails maybe the attention we give to that is to help them learn from it and support them in finding another route to reach their goal.<br />
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With love,<br />
Kathleen x<br />
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<i style="font-weight: bold;">"We can all remember a time when someone encouraged us and made a difference in our lives. It may be just a moment, but this encouragement could last a lifetime." </i>- Megan Shull.<br />
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<br />Kathleen Kettleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02317076380504668072noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2512522326546330039.post-16421928307333326142018-10-15T14:49:00.002+01:002018-10-15T14:49:38.798+01:00The hungry opportunist<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-OKAi_TgwBP4/W8SasN3KuxI/AAAAAAAACuU/7wG3u4Vf2NEExtDY0_dpDi7uILMtSor0gCLcBGAs/s1600/IMG_0150.PNG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="320" data-original-width="179" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-OKAi_TgwBP4/W8SasN3KuxI/AAAAAAAACuU/7wG3u4Vf2NEExtDY0_dpDi7uILMtSor0gCLcBGAs/s320/IMG_0150.PNG" width="179" /></a><br />
If someone is deemed to be 'hungry' for something it's generally seen as a good thing as they are thought to be an unstoppable force, driven and determined to get what they want.<br />
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In my opinion it can also be a precursor to a much less desirable, more selfish and even destructive state of affairs.<br />
<span class="im"><br />
The hungry opportunist is the worst.<br />
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They lose sight of the bigger picture and focus only on what <u><i>they</i></u> want by pushing, elbowing, instructing, demanding and manipulating their way to the front.<br />
<br /></span>The hungry opportunist has no grace or humility and never acknowledges others - they are blinkered and focused only on what they want. <br />
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They harbour a selfishness like no other - a tidal wave washing over everyone, oblivious to the havoc and pain left behind - keeping an eye on the target without a thought or care for the lives or work of others.<br />
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Each of us should pay attention to the warning signs, so that we can spot when we encounter a hungry opportunist. The signs are:<br />
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* They only talk about themselves.<br />
* They show little (if any) interest in you or your loved ones.</span>* They always talk about their own achievements.<br />
<span class="im">* They think they are somehow special and better than others.<br />
* They rarely pay attention to 'irrelevant' details like names of people who matter to you. </span>* They rarely remember anything that you've done or achieved because ultimately you're irrelevant to them.<br />
<span class="im">* Everything you have to say is dismissed with an attempt to change the subject so the conversation can be quickly brought back to themselves.<br />
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There is a lot going on in the head of the hungry opportunist.<br />
<br /></span>They do not want to miss out on being in the limelight. They get aggressive and emotional at the idea of being side-lined. As the observer, you can feel their panic rising as they worry about losing their 'top dog' status. <br />
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They can be ruthless in finding ways to grab their way back to the top position - and ultimately we should feel empathy and sadness for these people, while also protecting ourselves.<br />
<span class="im"><br />
Why does someone become a hungry opportunist?<br />
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I don't know. <br />
<br /></span>Most likely there is no single reason. <br />
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Most likely it's covering a multitude of insecurities.<br />
<span class="im"><br />
Being a hungry opportunist with a focus on the top position keeps them away from their emotions. <br />
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To feel, express and be in their emotional body might be too overwhelming and frightening for them.<br />
<br /></span>In this blog post my care is for you. You must protect yourself, be grounded during your interactions with the hungry opportunist and speak clearly about your needs. Do not let them plough through you with their ideas and plans.<br />
<span class="im"><br /></span>
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You are a person in your own right and your thoughts and opinions matter. Your bodymind wants to witness you speaking up, expressing your truth and getting your needs met - please love and respect yourself enough to stand up to the hungry opportunist in your life. </div>
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With love,<br />
Kathleen x<br />
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<span class="im"><br /></span></div>
<b><i>"Selfishness comes from poverty in the heart, from the belief that love is not abundant." -</i></b> Don Miguel Ruiz.<br />
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<br />Kathleen Kettleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02317076380504668072noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2512522326546330039.post-3208448029110550712018-08-31T12:38:00.000+01:002018-08-31T12:38:31.814+01:00When sleep seems a thing of the past.<br />
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Cpp4uUUFieI/W4kmovs0OcI/AAAAAAAACss/YIIukSUnu4cD-JmvlrDFK3qX3ScmhE7XACLcBGAs/s1600/IMG_7496.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="480" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Cpp4uUUFieI/W4kmovs0OcI/AAAAAAAACss/YIIukSUnu4cD-JmvlrDFK3qX3ScmhE7XACLcBGAs/s320/IMG_7496.JPG" width="240" /></a>There's a particular quality to the silence in the early mornings that helps me feel more connected to the natural world. <br />
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Everything seems to be slowly and sleepily presenting outstretched arms to the new day full of optimism and possibility.<br />
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However, recently I've not been sleeping very well and with only 2-3 hours sleep a night I'm finding mornings have turned from my most loyal friend to my most irritating foe.<br />
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This lead blanket of tiredness has sapped my usual joy of wakening. I'm now aware of an unusual feeling of separateness from what has been a lovingly familiar and comforting outside world,<br />
as it rouses from darkness to daylight.<br />
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I don't know exactly what has triggered this bout of insomnia, but I am sure it will pass. I will continue to get up, write, work and do all the things I love. <br />
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Catnaps might be in order until my normal sleep pattern returns, until then I'll take a leaf out of Bertie's book - he's got cat napping down to a fine art!<br />
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With love,<br />
Kathleen x<br />
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<i style="font-weight: bold;">" The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you, do not go back to sleep." </i>- Rumi<br />
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<i style="font-weight: bold;">"In its early stages, insomnia is almost an oasis in which those who have to think or suffer darkly take refuge." </i>- <span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Sidonie-Gabrielle Colette</span><br />
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<br />Kathleen Kettleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02317076380504668072noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2512522326546330039.post-20526932382134537572018-07-13T11:28:00.000+01:002018-07-13T15:04:17.547+01:00Being patient and staying open to giving love. <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I took this photo because I was intrigued by the stark contrast between the grass sheltered from the heat of the sun, and the scorched areas outwith the protection of the leafy canopy.<br />
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The outstretched arms weighted with an abundance of leaves cast a silent, shielding shadow over the ground below. The outline of healthy green grass matched perfectly the curves and twists of each branch, twig and leaf.<br />
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I felt weirdly sad for the scorched areas on the periphery of the protective shadow - lying just centimetres from the healing canopy unable to change its fate.<br />
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Sometimes it might feel like your arms can't stretch far enough to give those you care about most the succour they so desperately need.<br />
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All you can do is show them there is an impregnable haven in your protective arms and simply stay open and ready to give them whatever they need to thrive and be well again - and that will only happen when<b><i> they are</i></b> ready and able to receive it.<br />
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Be patient.<br />
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<i style="font-weight: bold;">"Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it." -</i> Helen Keller.<br />
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With love,<br />
Kathleen xKathleen Kettleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02317076380504668072noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2512522326546330039.post-24970572174339043242018-06-18T12:09:00.001+01:002018-06-18T12:09:16.186+01:00Together we are strong and purposeful <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I took this photograph last week while visiting Foreland House and Gardens on the west coast island of Islay. These steps inspired this blog post.<br />
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These beautiful stone steps are each slightly different, each unique slab of stone laid carefully years ago allowing access to the potting shed from the walled garden.<br />
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One step without the other would make their purpose futile, but each one placed directly where it should be and the structure and form becomes worthwhile and beneficial.<br />
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It seems to me that we've all become a bit obsessed with the need to display our individual uniqueness.<br />
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Don't get me wrong, we <i><b>are</b></i> all wonderfully unique <b><i>and</i> </b>we are all emotionally fragile, mortal beings.<br />
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The threads that weave us together are a stronger truth than the narcissistic belief that we are different or somehow more special than our neighbour.<br />
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This striving to claim and expose our specialness has led to a toxic separateness from our fellow man.<br />
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What small thing could you do today to help another person (and you) regain that feeling of connectedness?<br />
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With love,<br />
Kathleen x<br />
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<b><i>"Without the human community one single human cannot survive." - </i> Dalai Lama</b><br />
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<br />Kathleen Kettleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02317076380504668072noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2512522326546330039.post-83441414329363989092018-02-17T15:44:00.001+00:002018-02-17T15:45:35.490+00:00Leaving behind the voice that controlled you. <a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-QqJHnhvvxa4/WohJH0CinUI/AAAAAAAACn8/p_LetUIJn3k3ECYzB1NbgW6TZ6AtTTPMwCLcBGAs/s1600/5746626063_5f9bf43b12_z.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="361" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-QqJHnhvvxa4/WohJH0CinUI/AAAAAAAACn8/p_LetUIJn3k3ECYzB1NbgW6TZ6AtTTPMwCLcBGAs/s320/5746626063_5f9bf43b12_z.jpg" width="180" /></a>If you've ever been in a relationship where you <i>had</i> to get things right or you'd face dire consequences, even though the controlling relationship that started this belief may have ended long ago, you may still be suffering from a deep rooted belief that you must always make sure other people are okay before tending to your own needs.<br />
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The idea that you should do what <i>you </i>want to do can send those who've experienced that type of relationship into a head space that has them confused and reeling at the very thought.<br />
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While helping others is noble and good - making sure you're okay and that you're getting your needs met is equally, if not more important.<br />
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So where do you put yourself in the pecking order?<br />
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If you're not at or near the top, why not?<br />
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That voice in your head that stops you from moving in the direction that truly makes your heart sing does not belong to you. It was "gifted" to you long ago from someone who needed to keep you down, someone who needed to control you. The idea of you being an independent thinker was, for whatever reason, too difficult for them...but that voice has no power over you now.<br />
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No matter how small a change you make, start now. Start by taking a baby step in the direction of what you really want from this life - from <i>your </i>life today.<br />
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With love, Kathleen x<br />
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<i style="font-weight: bold;">"Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone elses' life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition."</i> - Steve Jobs<br />
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<br />Kathleen Kettleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02317076380504668072noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2512522326546330039.post-11250939964486282412018-01-09T10:45:00.002+00:002018-01-09T10:45:09.617+00:00Seeing the true picture<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I could sit and stare at the waves for hours. My gaze is fixed, but in the periphery of my vision I see wisps of white spray stretching out, squealing for my attention. <br />
I'm determined to stay fixed in my position, eyes ahead, letting myself sink into contemplative mood refusing to be teased or distracted by the developing drama on either side.<br />
That's always the plan.<br />
Truth is I can't do it.<br />
Maybe I can calm the waves, maybe I can get them to see that there's no need for them to vie for my attention?<br />
But I need to see the whole vista.<br />
I need to have an appreciation of <i>everything; </i> maybe then I can make some sort of sense of the view in front of me.<br />
So I will keep turning my head and absorbing, observing, understanding all that I can see, only then can I give the best of myself.<br />
<i style="font-weight: bold;">"Seeing the bigger picture opens your eyes to what is the truth." -</i> Wadada Leo Smith<br />
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<br />Kathleen Kettleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02317076380504668072noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2512522326546330039.post-29523423562104991542017-12-14T11:14:00.002+00:002017-12-14T15:13:12.454+00:00Unique and powerful - that's you I'm describing! <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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The snow is falling, gently, silently and without any fanfare or fuss.<br />
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Unassuming and unaware of the effect each delicate beauty has as they land on the icy ground;<br />
I could go out and start shoveling and gritting, but the forecast is for the temperature to rise a bit later today so I'm opting out and just letting it be without interfering.<br />
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Each delicate, unique flake is completely unaware of its individual and collective power.<br />
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In a blizzard we can feel lost and irrelevant, but as <b>Voltaire</b> wrote,<br />
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<b><i>"No snowflake in an avalanche ever feels responsible."</i></b><br />
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If you disagree with those in power you must stand up, stand apart and speak your truth. You are not governed by the weather, you are not a snowflake, you <i>can</i> decide to stand aside and not be pushed or bullied into following the crowd.<br />
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Like millions of others I was left aghast, saddened and bemused when Trump was elected. I was delighted to read that this week Doug Jones, a Democrat won against the Republican Roy Moore in Alabama.. the first time in two decades a Democrat has won there!<br />
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Bit by bit the quiet few found their lost voices and remembered their power. One by one they went out to vote and were heard. Never underestimate your individual and collective strength.<br />
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Your feelings are here for you to notice. This is your time, what do you love? What is important to you? Are you able to share that? Why keep quiet when you have a voice? Be your wonderful self in glorious technicolour and notice how it feels to share your passion by lifting a lid on your silence.<br />
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With love,<br />
Kathleen x<br />
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<br />Kathleen Kettleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02317076380504668072noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2512522326546330039.post-81287941766881499512017-12-03T12:21:00.000+00:002017-12-03T12:21:29.186+00:00When the music moves you, you have a choice. <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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There are times when a piece of music on the radio or television catapults me back to a time that has long since past.<br />
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Sometimes I sit and listen to the tune indulging myself in the sadness or joy it conjures up.<br />
Other times I find myself sprinting for the off switch so I don't have to re-live those memories.<br />
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Yesterday, on BBC Radio 2, Paul Gambaccini was doing his show, "Tracks of my years" with 1992 being one of the years on his play list.<br />
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What a mixture of mercies that brought up!<br />
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My girls and me living in a little farm cottage in Moray, alone but together, freezing but cosy, happy but sad, putting a brave face on it while playing a game I called, "Let's be like the Victorians!"<br />
We'd play this game whenever I ran out of credit for the electricity meter and I'd stick on the coal fire, light the candles and play board games or make jigsaws in candle light.<br />
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Not so long ago my eldest daughter (she's 29 years old now) told me she had no idea, she really thought it was us having fun...that's a relief to know! She was only 4 years old and all sleeping in one bed, "like the Victorians" made sense to her.<br />
I had no idea how my life would pan out, or what twists and turns it would take...none of us do.<br />
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Despite what an onlooker may have seen at that time, I knew life would get better and all would (eventually) be well. I believe that all three of my kids have inherited the attitude of, "I might be down on my luck, but I'm not out yet" as they have all shown incredibly resilience and resourcefulness when the chips are down; I really admire that in them.<br />
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Sharing this is not meant to provoke a pity party - quite the opposite in fact.<br />
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I want to encourage you to realise the power of music, and use it for your benefit. It can uplift you if you're in a chapter of your life that is challenging, and it can hold you down in the doldrums.<br />
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So choose your music carefully. Move and dance to the tunes you love, and avoid the music that leaves you feeling heavy and stuck. The energy we feel when the music moves us can aid our recovery or our hold us in the belief that this is as good as it gets!<br />
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Now where's that track," Courage (For Hugh Maclennan)" by The Tragically Hip? I love that one!<br />
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<i style="font-weight: bold;">"Music gives a soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination and life to everything." </i>- Plato<br />
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<br />Kathleen Kettleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02317076380504668072noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2512522326546330039.post-56630387289778700232017-11-19T12:20:00.000+00:002017-11-19T12:20:49.396+00:00My story about that hashtag.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I use writing as my way to release the pressure in my head. It's also my hope that on even the tiniest level my words may help, inspire or motivate others.<br />
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The recent #MeToo has brought up a whole load of feelings and memories which have been churning inside me for years. For those who may not know about it, the hashtag followed by MeToo was being used all over social media to mean that person had been harrassed or sexually abused. The idea was to show the magnitude of the problem across the world.<br />
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I feel sadness, a real deep sadness for those millions of men who <i><b>are</b></i> respectful, warm, caring and loving - I can't imagine how horrible they must feel at the unraveling and exposure of men who have behaved abominably and in a way that leaves those decent men baffled, uncomfortable and angry. I am lucky enough to be married to one of those good men today, and I never take my meeting him nearly 12 years ago for granted.<br />
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I haven't used #MeToo on any of my social media platforms... this is not because I've not been harassed or indeed sexually assaulted - sadly the latter on more than one occasion.<br />
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For me the first half of the 1980's was turbulent, confusing, sad and filled with excruciating inexplicable emotional and physical pain.<br />
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Some, though not all of this was as a result of a few opportunistic predatory men who made me feel worthless at a time when I was incredibly vulnerable, fragile and an emotional mess. The sudden accidental death of my big brother had catapulted me into a life where my decisions were based around my thoughts which were, "What's the point?" "I'll be dead soon!" "Who cares? I don't!"<br />
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Despite those thoughts the desire to survive and my ability to see there was the potential for a happier life beyond abuse became bigger than all the awfulness. By 1984 I was on a mission to stop allowing conscious-less men to stop assisting me on my path of self destruction and I applied to Nursing Colleges all over Scotland and chose to go to Foresterhill College (West). <br />
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My interview happened, I was offered a place and as soon as I was old enough I left my home town and moved 103 miles north to Moray.<br />
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Sometimes I still feel like I was part of the problem. Then I remind myself that they were adults. I was a young teenager. They know who they are. I know who they are. I am back living in my home town. That's not always easy as I see the faces of those same men, older, fatter, uglier. Have they managed to re-frame their memories of those events so well that they think saying "Hello!" to me in the street is okay?! <br />
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Please.<br />
If you see me.<br />
Stay silent.<br />
Look to the ground and walk on by.<br />
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Posting this blog is not going to be easy for me, as there will be people who wish I hadn't. <br />
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Sometimes silence is too dark and hides more darkness. I hope that by sharing this it creates at least a crack wide enough to let in the smallest shaft of light to brighten those corners so abuse starts to be seen wherever it is and has literally nowhere to hide.<br />
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To end on a more positive note..<br />
After 10 years of nursing I re-trained at Regent's College, London in Solution Focused Psychotherapy and Reverse Therapy. Over 14 years on I remain as passionate as ever about helping people live their best possible life free from pain. Today I understand clearer than ever that some of that passion is driven by my own experiences in early life. I can't say I'm grateful for that, of course I'd rather none of that happened - but it showed me the strength of my resolve and for that I am glad.<br />
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I have a loving husband, 3 grown up kids, two daughters and a son. They are truly inspirational.<br />
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Love yourself, love your family and friends, and keep speaking and sharing your stories. <br />
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With love,<br />
Kathleen x<br />
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<b><i>"Don't judge yourself by what others did to you" </i>- C. Kennedy</b><br />
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<br />Kathleen Kettleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02317076380504668072noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2512522326546330039.post-46202009518862447642017-08-24T10:44:00.001+01:002017-08-24T10:44:16.715+01:00In life and garden<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I love watching my Petunias and Nasturtiums roam wild and free, spreading and intertwining themselves far and wide across flowerbeds and paths. The sweet peas so apparently innocuous in their beginnings rise and twist upwards, stretching and twirling, seductive and tantalising as they grow- their bursts of colour rather dramatically leap out from the dancing green scenery surrounding them. The perfect Petunias too, I celebrate their tender, delicate flower heads like a siren to the bees so vibrant and enticing.<br />
My style and preferred way of gardening is to let the wild, roaming plants do their thing. <br />
Leaving them alone I watch them flourish and it feels as if they appreciate the freedom. I'm sure I see their "nod" of approval as they grow! Too much pruning, staking and attempts to control them and they soon let me know how unhappy they are. Unable to travel so far the blooming flower heads seem weaker, less vibrant. In order to flourish some plants do require guidance and support and with the extra attention from the human hands that guide and love them they show their appreciation by their vibrancy and health. However with too much clipping and restraining plants can lose their zest for life, wither and die.<br />
It's all about balance.<br />
Don't do anything forcefully.<br />
Be gentle.<br />
Methodical.<br />
Work with reason and be considerate to all the factors that affect the plant, and with that attitude your plants will thrive.<br />
My husband Andrew has said to me more than once that he thinks I have, "green fingers."<br />
I'm not so sure about that, but I do appreciate plants; their uniqueness and beauty and I do my best to nurture and care for them as unintrusively as possible.<br />
We all have different ways of gardening and being in this world, be passionate and honest and your life and garden will be a reflection of your love, focus and dedication.<br />
With love,<br />
Kathleen x<br />
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<br />Kathleen Kettleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02317076380504668072noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2512522326546330039.post-43199940243124850922017-06-23T23:33:00.001+01:002017-06-23T23:33:29.339+01:00The Gathering Storm<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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There are always signs that a storm is coming. A graying of the skies, the leaves on the trees gently rustle and thin branches gently bend, birds flutter to shelter in the bushes and an oppressive doomsday feeling closes in as the temperature steadily drops.<br />
Then, as the darkness continues to swallow up every last shard and pinhole of light, a sense of the inevitable settles on the observer and suddenly the realisation dawns: there is no escape from this.<br />
I am powerless.<br />
The body sends subtle messages that all is not well. We ignore them at our peril. We busy ourselves pretending this storm will pass us by, and the body screams louder, and louder still.<br />
We can survive the gravest of storms, but only if we face up to the fact that the storm is happening and we take the steps required to get us safely to the other side where peace and calm await.<br />
We are powerful. Take action and be the person your body knows you can be.<br />
<b><i>"If you want to see the sunshine, you have to weather then storm." </i>- </b>Frank Lane<br />
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<br />Kathleen Kettleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02317076380504668072noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2512522326546330039.post-8034282288432571882017-05-25T12:58:00.001+01:002017-05-25T12:58:25.454+01:00Physical Exercise = Mental & Physical Health<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Recently I decided to get fit...I mean seriously get on with getting properly fit! This has involved, 2 yoga classes a week, an aqua fit class, a circuits class, running 3-4 times a week covering varying distances between 2-4 miles where I either do a straight run or use an app for interval training, and finally following another app that has me doing squats, sit ups and press ups with all three sets being done every alternate day increasing repetitions in each session.<div>
To the onlooker the changes are minute, unnoticeable even; but inside my body (and mind) forces of an epic nature are at work.</div>
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Chemical and muscular changes are taking place - and I feel alive!</div>
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It feels like my muscles have re-joined the workforce after several unhappy years of forced redundancy - and as a result my body is now finally rejoicing!</div>
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Not fulfilling my body's potential has been like continuing to watch a blurry television, tolerating poor quality reception knowing that all I had to do was stand up, walk to the TV, lean over and plug in the aerial.</div>
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I'm only doing what my body was built to do.</div>
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I've plugged in my aerial! </div>
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I know there will be days when I feel less motivated and reluctant to get out there and get on with it, but I hope by writing this I can remind myself, (and maybe even motivate you) that the feeling I have now, the energy and focus and sense of life <i>is</i> in fact attainable.</div>
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<b><i>"Physical fitness is not only one of the most important keys to a healthy body, it is the basis of dynamic and creative intellectual activity." </i>- John F. Kennedy</b></div>
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Kathleen Kettleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02317076380504668072noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2512522326546330039.post-88630123991646791582017-04-09T12:38:00.001+01:002017-04-09T12:38:25.815+01:00Caring for yourself and the world<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I'm just back from the Lake District where I walked a few more miles for the homelessness charity SHELTER.<br />
It's so beautiful there, much busier than I'm used to, yet despite the masses of visitors they've done a great job of preserving and protecting the areas of outstanding beauty by creating The Lakes National Park.<br />
Made me think though (walking does that to me)!<br />
We crave to save, to protect, to heal the damage done by the weather or willfully destructive humans, to instruct the visitors on the do's and don'ts of the countryside code all to ensure we take great care of the landscape we've been gifted and treat our natural environment with respect and love.<br />
Now turn these instructions towards yourself.<br />
How good are you at protecting yourself? <br />
Do you recognise yourself as a gift to be handled with love and respect?<br />
If you've been hurt do you, or have you sought out a way to help heal the damage done?<br />
It's not okay to turn a blind eye to your own needs. Pretending to be okay when you're not would be like ignoring the broken timbers on the foot bridge; ignore it for too long and it will be damaged beyond repair.<br />
<b><i>"Go back and take care of yourself. Your body needs you. Your feelings need you. Your perceptions need you. Your suffering needs you to acknowledge it. Go home and be there with all these things." </i>- </b>Thich Nhat HanhKathleen Kettleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02317076380504668072noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2512522326546330039.post-12251083128778708312017-03-09T17:10:00.003+00:002017-03-09T17:10:51.543+00:00Seeing beyond the mask.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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If you <i>really</i> listen to what another person is saying, I mean <i>really listen</i>, you are able to cut through the words and <i>feel</i> the truth. For all sorts of reason people can become magnificent maskers of the truth. <div>
The strongest relationships are with the people who are really able to listen and observe beyond the smile and words.</div>
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It matters not <i>why </i>we are not very good at being emotionally honest, the fact is, for most people it's painful and difficult to be really honest about what they're going through. The irony is of course that no-one is immune to suffering and yet we all pretend to be fine!</div>
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The Belgian singer Jacques Brel is in my opinion one of the best. His song, "Ni me quitte pas" is so beautiful I can often be found with tears rolling down my face as I <i>feel </i>the emotion in his delivery of the song.</div>
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Until I started writing this blog post I had no idea what it was about, I just knew it was sad. Unfortunately I don't understand French...but I do understand feelings!</div>
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I've just Googled the translation to "Ni me quitte pas" and it goes like this,</div>
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"<i>Don't leave me</i></div>
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<i>You have to forget</i></div>
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<i>Everything can be forgotten</i></div>
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<i>That is flying away already</i></div>
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<i>Forget the time</i></div>
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<i>The misunderstandings</i></div>
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<i>And the time that was lost</i></div>
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<i>Trying to understand how</i></div>
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<i>Those hours can be forgotten</i></div>
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<i>Those that are killing sometimes</i></div>
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<i>With whys that hurt like punches</i></div>
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<i>The heart of happiness</i></div>
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<i>Don't leave me.."</i></div>
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There's more, but you get the gist. </div>
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If you'd like to get better at noticing the truth behind words, why not listen to a song in a foreign language and notice what you <i>feel</i>? Of course the beauty of songs are that the key and style the song is sung in can help deliver the "story" - but nevertheless it's a good way to improve your ability at reading what those you care about are really feeling.</div>
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<b><i>"A person who truly loves you is someone who sees the pain in your eyes while everyone else believes in the smile on your face." </i>- </b>Author Unknown</div>
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Kathleen Kettleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02317076380504668072noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2512522326546330039.post-2072136726326223822017-03-03T18:08:00.004+00:002017-03-03T18:08:57.382+00:00The history that surrounds us.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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An abandoned building covered in ivy intrigues and fascinates me. The shape of the building still clear to see, but all the details so painstakingly and lovingly created by the builder and craftsmen now invisible behind the green shroud of overgrowth.</div>
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What happened?</div>
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When did the owner leave? </div>
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Did he walk away with a heavy heart, leaving the place he'd hoped to create many more good memories dreaming one day he'd return?</div>
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The outline of the building remains and any passer by can easily recognise what it was; but their fleeting glance reinforces that they are broadly dis-interested in what it is now.</div>
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The four external walls wrapped in a green blanket of ivy with the bricks and pointing crumbling away, the interior damp and dark with an eerie silence and smell of rotting timbers and mold.</div>
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Not the beauty it once was.</div>
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And yet it's still here.</div>
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Strong, imposing, casting a silhouette of elderly grandeur against the orange dusk of the evening sky. </div>
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We shouldn't disregard what is already here, nor should we ignore what has been here for longer than many of us.</div>
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The stories and history held in those buildings, the memories our elderly recall, the strength and beauty of the old trees - we know so little.</div>
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<b><i>"A people without the knowledge of their past history, origin and culture is like a tree without roots." </i>- Marcus Garvey</b></div>
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Kathleen Kettleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02317076380504668072noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2512522326546330039.post-17776513232681366202017-02-22T10:13:00.002+00:002017-02-22T10:16:20.098+00:00To walk and be free<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I'm sitting in my kitchen with the sun beating shafts of light through the window with shadows dancing on my table, and splatterings of light and shade jumping and jostling for my attention on the wall. It's cold out there and Storm Doris is about to land on our shores, and today I'm awash by a sense of peace and contentment. <br />
This is also the way I feel when I walk.<br />
And I love to walk, and walk and walk.<br />
It's as basic a need as breathing in and out.<br />
It's a time to appreciate the natural movement of my body doing what it was made to do.<br />
Arms and legs, hips and knees, feet, head, neck, shoulders, tendons, ligamaments, bones, joints, cartilage, synovial fluid and membranes working collaboratively without any friction "protests" or "walk outs" by any member of the "team". If one aspect<i> really</i> started to complain the knock on effect on the rest of my body would be extremely detrimental!<br />
So as I walk step by step across the ground feeling the wind on my face it serves as a stark reminder that today I am free.<br />
I am <i>so</i> grateful for this freedom.<br />
On a long walk of fifteen to twenty miles my body aches ..the pain isn't debilitating, it has an exquisite quality to it as I rely and trust that my legs will carry me for the duration of the journey.<br />
I trust that my body is able to support me on this quest.<br />
I quietly talk to myself, whispering encouraging words. <br />
I can't afford to doubt myself.<br />
I can't afford to let my body hear the whsipering doubts in my head.<br />
Every step.<br />
Every yard.<br />
Every mile..achieved by my legs striding forward.<br />
Step by step.<br />
Even though today the wind is blowing I'll be heading out to walk a mile or two, maybe more, who knows?<br />
It doesn't matter. <br />
What matters is that with freedom comes choice.<br />
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With love to my amazing 3 kids, and my loving, supportive husband Andrew xx<br />
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<b><i>"Every path, every street in the world is your walking meditation path." </i>- Thich Nhat Hanh</b><br />
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<br />Kathleen Kettleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02317076380504668072noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2512522326546330039.post-8759769092008409892017-01-29T16:08:00.003+00:002017-01-29T18:02:26.283+00:00From Scotland to the U.S<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Today has been a weird day - I feel quite sad and frightened.<br />
My kids are fine, life is going well - but it's Donald.<br />
We need to talk about Donald.<br />
Yesterday he banned Muslims and citizens of countries that are predominantly Muslim from entering the U.S<br />
I'm not a politician. <br />
I'm not an academic.<br />
I don't understand politics when they are relatively straight forward - so now with Donald at the helm I feel completely at a loss.<br />
Today I have mostly been sad.<br />
I have just signed a petition to stop Donald from making a State Visit to the UK - I want to show my solidarity to humans just like me, humans who don't want a human like Donald to think we (in the UK and in every single nation of the world) want anything to do with joining his, "club".<br />
I love people.<br />
Some have told me that I have trusted too easily in the past - and I will continue to do so because that's who I am. <br />
That's who we were all born to be.<br />
We are all the same.<br />
I am here for the blink of an eye, as we all are.<br />
Donald is currently in a staring competition with himself and forgetting how fleeting his time on earth, and as President of The United States actually is. I want him to blink - clear his vision and realise his hateful attitude will isolate him, and those who follow him.<br />
My tears are for the people who are feeling scared, sad, angry and isolated by the actions of one man fuelling the insecurities and ignorance of his followers.<br />
Most people care.<br />
Most people love.<br />
Most people want Donald to stop.<br />
I'd love him to find peace in his own heart.<br />
I'd love his followers to find that peace too.<br />
I'm just going to keep my heart open, and hope that in time good will prevail.<br />
And to all the amazing people who went to JFK Airport last night to rally - I was moved to tears and<br />
I want you to know that in this little corner of Scotland I stand with you.<br />
With love,<br />
Kathleen x<br />
<i style="font-weight: bold;">"I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear."</i> - Martin Luther King, Jr.<br />
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<br />Kathleen Kettleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02317076380504668072noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2512522326546330039.post-30484017135113213942017-01-16T15:50:00.001+00:002017-01-16T22:12:31.620+00:00Taking down the wall<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-sFi1UbfBIsc/WHzMnHO7k2I/AAAAAAAACZQ/GrmCW1J2uKwbSjebatSPm52D2M1TuyZpQCLcB/s1600/fishouse.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-sFi1UbfBIsc/WHzMnHO7k2I/AAAAAAAACZQ/GrmCW1J2uKwbSjebatSPm52D2M1TuyZpQCLcB/s320/fishouse.JPG" width="320" /></a>For those of you who prefer to live hidden behind a self built wall...I write this for you.<br />
There's security, certainty a safeness about lying low, hidden from the world and its bombardment of confusing, messiness.<br />
However, if you're viewing the world with the belief that you mustn't be seen then you are also depriving yourself of the opportunity to witness real beauty and light intertwined <i>with</i> life's confusing messiness.<br />
We cannot live (healthily) by hiding from the world, wearing blinkers and refusing to engage or walk alongside the trials, successes, joy and grief of our fellow man.<br />
Start slowly.<br />
It can be daunting.<br />
Remove one brick at a time.<br />
The view will change and as it does you can remind yourself of the thread of commonality that runs through all of us.<br />
Celebrate that you are never really alone - unless it's self imposed - there is always a way of being with, and reaching out to others.<br />
With love,<br />
Kathleen x<br />
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<i><b>"We are all cells in the same body of humanity."</b> - </i>Peace Pilgrim<br />
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<br />Kathleen Kettleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02317076380504668072noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2512522326546330039.post-911810936076168672016-09-26T17:46:00.000+01:002016-09-26T23:36:29.270+01:00Working from the inside out.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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To date I've moved 27 times in 48 years. Now there's a ridiculous statistic. In my defence 4 of the house moves were in childhood and out of my control, but that still leaves 23 down to me.<br>
It was only recently that I realised that for years and years I've been missing the point.<br>
Whenever a big life event happened it would feel unsafe for me to stay still, so I would sell up, or pack up when I rented...and then rather predictably to my friends and loved ones - I'd move. I'd find the "perfect" place to unpack and I'd very quickly make that house a home.<br>
The truth is that I never allowed myself the indulgence (as I saw it ) of feeling my sorrow and properly grieving.<br>
Sorrow may seem a strong word - but I now realise that's what it was.<br>
I could feel something; something indescribable and in response to the discomfort I'd start searching for somewhere new to run to.<br>
If only I'd realised that running was not - and never was the answer. The agitation and sadness kept following me - however fantastic the latest house was the ache in my heart was as intense as ever.<br>
I have realised now (thank goodness) that I must be comfortable just sitting in this place right here.<br>
How futile it is to change the lampshade when the bulb is blown.<br>
No amount of elaborate, fancy, decorative lampshade will enable light to shine if the bulb is broken.<br>
Recently "that" feeling started creeping back.<br>
I had a knee jerk reaction, but I resisted! <br>
I sat with the pain, and sat some more.<br>
I meditated and I walked, and walked and walked some more.<br>
And quietly I got it...my home here is perfect...I need to stay and fix the bulb.<br>
<b><i>"No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear."</i> - C.S Lewis</b><br>
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<br>Kathleen Kettleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02317076380504668072noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2512522326546330039.post-12112385192239832302016-05-27T11:29:00.002+01:002016-05-27T15:03:04.045+01:00Facts + Action = Results<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Knowledge is power! <br>
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Burying your head in the sand is never really going to help - though I do understand why certain life events seem too daunting to face, so I'd allow you a short stay; a day pass for the "head in the sand" section.<br>
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Once you've released your head back into the glaring light of day and shaken the sand from your eyes and ears it would then be time to get on with finding out what your options are, and whether or not you're up for those options. One can never assume that just because knowledge is gained appropriate action will follow.<br>
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Fear steps in....<br>
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Fear of the unknown. <br>
Fear of acceptance.<br>
Fear of failure.<br>
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FEAR!<br>
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There can be a sense of safety while you remain stuck in the loop of denial. Safety with regards to your headmind at least, but not the all knowing, all loving bodymind, it wants to be lovingly cared for. It wants you to take positive steps in a direction that both acknowledges there's been a problem and pro-actively witnesses you taking educated, well informed steps to remedy the problem.<br>
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If I know I've overdrawn my bank account and carry on merrily spending when I literally have no money left, I'm not going to get away with that for too long. <br>
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I might receive a polite text from the bank asking me to put funds in today as I've overdrawn my account.<br>
I can delete the text and pretend I never saw it.<br>
I might start getting letters from the council as I've missed a council tax payment.<br>
I can choose not to open the letter as I have a feeling I know what that's about.<br>
The companies I have direct debits or standing orders with start calling.<br>
I choose not to pick up.<br>
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When it comes to issues of your health. You can choose to ignore the early warning signs, or you can look up, start investigating your options and be as pro-active as possible. Looking after yourself is no more than you deserve - if you're finding it difficult to show yourself the same kindness you would show a loved one, or a dear friend, confide in them. Tell them how you're feeling and ask them to help you take the first step towards helping yourself be well again.<br>
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<i style="font-weight: bold;">"Facts do not cease to exist just because they are ignored." - </i>Aldous Huxley.<br>
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<br>Kathleen Kettleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02317076380504668072noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2512522326546330039.post-4251157769165502892016-03-14T19:46:00.000+00:002016-03-15T08:17:22.223+00:00The benefit of obstacles<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Sometimes it can feel like an incredibly laborious process to get to where you want to be!<br />
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Sometimes it just feels like too much effort.<br />
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There can be hurdles in the way, long periods of feeling stuck with neither forward nor backward movement. Very, very frustrating....however....<br />
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Today, while out on a walk I just happened to look up as a pine cone was falling from a tall branch en route to the forest floor, but instead of reaching its planned destination it settled onto a wide feathery branch about 8 feet from the ground.<br />
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I smiled as the line from the poem, "To A Mouse" by Robert Burns, sprung into my head,<br />
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"<i style="font-weight: bold;">The best laid schemes o' mice an' men gang aft agley." </i><br />
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Roughly translated it means, that our plans don't always go the way we'd hoped.<br />
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But maybe the stalling, the delays, the apparent obstructions are all necessary on the journey to our destination. <br />
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Maybe the hurdles give us more time to plan more clearly what we need and question if we're heading the right way.<br />
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Maybe having more time helps us think more creatively and stretches us in ways we didn't think were possible.<br />
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If you feel stuck try to see that the slowing down of your progress is not necessarily negative - instead take the opportunity to review where you're at, and feel what you could do differently at this point to help your forward momentum.<br />
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Maybe there's a much better route for you to take.<br />
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Maybe the conditions on the ground weren't quite right for the pine cone. <br />
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Maybe when the next big wind blows and the cone falls unobstructed to the forest floor the conditions will be perfect for the seeds to sow.<br />
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<i style="font-weight: bold;">"Obstacles don't have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don't turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it." </i>- Michael Jordan<br />
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<br />Kathleen Kettleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02317076380504668072noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2512522326546330039.post-53429851456172053412016-01-25T15:07:00.002+00:002016-01-25T15:07:18.287+00:00Our Addiction To Patterns<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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We think of addiction as being associated with drugs, alcohol, sex, gambling and the other usual culprits...however, there is something just as damaging; if not more so in some cases and that's an addiction to patterns.<br />
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Of course I don't mean that you can't get enough William Morris, or that your nights are spent trawling through the history of Mary White's designs. The pattern addiction I'm referring to is circling relentlessly in your head and it can be just as tough to break as any other dependency.<br />
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Whenever I hear phrases like,<br />
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<i>"But the last time I felt like this it went on and on and on...."</i><br />
<i>"If you knew what happened to me 35 years ago you'd know why I can't possibly be free from this depression..."</i><br />
<i>"Whenever the day starts like this, I know exactly how the rest of my day is going to be!"</i><br />
<i>"It's always the same..."</i><br />
<i>"I've never been any other way .."</i><br />
<i>"I'm clumsy/stupid/lack confidence/shy" etc etc..delete or add appropriate word!</i><br />
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Any of those types of phrases when re-visited again and again can become quite appealing. They appeal because they enable the person to give themselves a label, and hang on to that label (belief) forever. Doing this keeps them in the addictive loop of being a slave to their thoughts.<br />
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This enslavement means they have to live a restricted life - because, well, <i>"It's always been this way!"</i><br />
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Providing there is a commitment and desire to change, there is always an alternative to being stuck in an addictive pattern.<br />
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Imagine a life free from the need to listen to, and live your life by your old beliefs!<br />
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Really, can you imagine that?<br />
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Well it is possible.<br />
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It starts (ironically), with<b> STOP!</b><br />
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The moment you hear yourself saying something that is derogatory or that restricts your ability to live your life the way you want to, simply think the word<b> STOP!</b><br />
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Engage all your senses in this moment right now and look around you.<br />
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This moment right now is the only thing that's real - don't trawl through the past - it's gone. What could you do today that would help you feel re-connected to that you that's been waiting for your arrival?<br />
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Enjoy becoming your own wonderfully dynamic and unique self!<br />
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With love,<br />
Kathleen x<br />
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<b><i>"The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward." </i>- Steve Maraboli</b><br />
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<br />Kathleen Kettleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02317076380504668072noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2512522326546330039.post-38559701982685925512015-11-15T14:32:00.000+00:002015-11-15T14:32:10.393+00:00Eyes to the front! <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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As a young girl playing outside in the 1970's my Dad was always keen to reiterate that I must, "Watch your step! Watch where you're going!" The primary reason was to avoid the amount of dog mess on the pavements because in the 70's it was everywhere! <br />
Not literally, but it seemed that way.<br />
Forty years later and his words still leap into my head when jogging along the pavement I unwittingly stand on a dog poo cunningly disguising itself as an autumn leaf.<br />
I'm not going to stop going out for a jog just because I might stand on dog poo! I have a route planned before I leave and I will stick to that no matter what.<br />
If you have an idea about where you want to go but find yourself watching your every step - just stop for a moment.<br />
Remember that you may well go through messy areas en route to your destination, in fact to be more blunt about it you may have some shit to contend with. However, if you know - even roughly - what you want to achieve and you have an idea of how to get yourself there then do not delay! Please just get on with taking the necessary steps towards your goals because none of us knows how long we have left to put on our running shoes and get out there!<br />
<b><i>"Never look down to test the ground before taking your next step; only he who keeps his eye fixed on the far horizon will find the right road." </i>- Dag Hammarskjold </b><br />
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<br />Kathleen Kettleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02317076380504668072noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2512522326546330039.post-82981385366648730222015-11-01T15:54:00.000+00:002015-11-01T15:54:21.758+00:00Appreciation of today<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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There's no doubt that I'd rather be the adult I am today than the confused struggling girl and woman I was in the early 80's through to the early 90's. <br />
A life pebble dashed with sores so deep and yet invisible to the untrained, uneducated eye. No-one's fault of course as back then I was an expert at hiding and camouflaging the roughness cutting into some edges of my life.<br />
Today I have a contentment about who I am as a mother, a wife, a friend, and of course as the person I am to the hundreds of clients I have been privileged enough to teach and encourage back to health. <br />
And yet, as time does the inevitable and change happens to those I love I can feel that panicky feeling rising. Like a stubborn toddler demanding not to be taken from the party, I'm digging my heels in and refusing to accept that change is inevitable...I want things to stay as they are, and I'm not budging from that stand point!<br />
However, there is a reluctant acceptance washing over me, gently reminding me that I'm not in control. <br />
A tough call.<br />
As I take stock of where I am right now I can see quite clearly that my life is overwhelmingly good, and unrecognisable to how I felt thirty plus years ago; so I must learn to lovingly let go of the fight to maintain the status quo.<br />
Neither you nor I have that power.<br />
What we do have is the ability to appreciate the good, cry at the bad, love those we love and literally embrace each day as it comes and deal with whatever comes our way with our feet on the ground and our hearts wide open.<br />
Written with love and appreciation for a life filled with amazing people! Kathleen x<br />
<i style="font-weight: bold;">"We are so often caught up in our destination that we forget to appreciate the journey, especially the goodness of the people we meet on the way. Appreciation is a wonderful feeling, don't overlook it." </i>- Author unknown<br />
<br />Kathleen Kettleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02317076380504668072noreply@blogger.com0