Keeping body and mind together

From grumpy victim to graceful victor

2012-02-05T15:50:00.005Z

We've all done it... heard ourselves bemoaning the fact that someone has done something to us, or taken us for granted. We feel hard done by, and are somehow catapulted back to a time when we were much younger and someone in school stole our favourite pencil! "It's not fair! It's not fair!"

I recently found myself feeling this way. I stomped around, wrote emails, made calls, rallied support from several friends, then thought, "STOP!"

I was using so much energy on finding a way to undo my sense of being wronged that in that chaotic state I'd slightly lost the plot!

When I went from racing around to being still - and I mean still - a lovely thing happened. I came home to find a large package from Amazon. I couldn't think what on earth I'd ordered, and when I opened it up I discovered that a friend had sent me 3 books by Robin Sharma (the guy who wrote "The monk who sold his Ferrari") WOW! Talk about perfect timing! What a great reminder of the lovely people in my life.

Those of you who know about the work I do know how passionate I am about it. I'm 3/4 of the way through the first of the three books and it has reminded me how lucky I am to have found what truly makes my heart sing!

I have been re-inspired! Thank you Karen!

Yesterday I spent a bit of time creating a new website which should go live next week, this will enable me to continue supporting my Reverse Therapy clients, while also reaching out to a whole new range of people, and that makes me so, so happy and grateful to be in this position.

"Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life, but define yourself." - Harvey S. Firestone

Impermanence

2012-01-22T12:34:00.009Z

Accepting the impermanence of our existence is surely one of our biggest challenges.

I have sat with people who are very close to the end of their lives. I have almost been able to see their skull, the detailed shapes that remind me of the anatomy and physiology classes I attended years ago. A paper thin layer of skin over their protruding frontal bone, that defined zygomatic bone - the cheek bone - the same bone that made it easy for her to mark out where to apply her rouge, attracting attention to her beautifully shaped face, a fading memory as life fades from her.

It would be too difficult, for me at least, to imagine throwing away all attachment or concern for the day to day turbulence's of life, but to recognise the transience of those events would only be beneficial to me.

The worry and angst of going over and over something in my head removes me from the reality and truth behind the situation. The truth being that life IS a mixture of pain and joy, frustration and contentment, and ultimately we are all here very briefly - so why give so much attention (and energy) to the areas that leave us feeling drained, stressed and exhausted?

Take time every day to give yourself even a minutes break from thinking or mulling over something that is annoying you. Just sit and stare at the flickering light from a candle wick, focus on the colours and the way the flame moves and dances. When a thought leaps into your head, just bring your attention back to the flickering flame. That minute of peace can be enough to remind you that your head (and body) appreciates a break from the relentless mind chatter.

"A lifetime is like a flash of lightening in the sky.

Rushing by, like a torrent down a steep mountain." - Buddha (563 - 483BC)

Sharing our memories.

2012-01-02T13:20:00.007Z

In December it was 30 years since my brother David was killed in an explosion in his farm cottage. I can hardly believe that so many years have passed, and we have all grown thirty years older, with each passing year, life has simply carried on. Marriage (s!), having children, health issues, house moves, jobs, more losses in the family, it's the same for every one...and yet the memory of the one we've lost stays fixed in time. In David's case his youthful face is embedded in my memory, his funny cracked front tooth, his curly hair, the laughs we had when we played tricks on Dad and set traps for him! Nettles and thistle spikes hidden in pot plants ready to jab Dad when he did his weekly watering and weeding of the geraniums and spider plants in the out sized green glass bottle (it was the late 70's after-all!)

My memory of him can stay unaffected by the passage of time - but I have no "new" memories of him, and that makes me sad. I was only 13 years old when he was killed, and I still remember a poem I found which resonated with me by, "Anon" (at the time I wondered who that was!) It was found after the second world war, I don't recall now where I found it, but I remember writing it on my bedroom wall, in tiny writing next to my pillow where I'd read it every night. It read:

"It seems so long ago,

He fought, he fell, he died,

and still it grieves me so,

and oh, how I have cried.

I think of him so much,

and yet,

I never wish I could forget."

Anon.

In December Dad received a call from one of David's friends saying that 6 of his old friends were going out for a meal and a drink to remember David on the 30th anniversary of his death. Understandably Dad was both moved and delighted by their invitation for him to join them. I rang Dad the next day to hear how it had been. One girl there said she still missed him and thought of him every day. Others reminisced about him and spoke of what had been going on in their own lives in recent times, 2 of his male friends are about to become grand-parents!

So, David lives on in the heart of many - not just his family but friends too remember him with love in their heart.

If you've lost someone dear to you share your memories with others who knew them, it's lovely to know that in his 18 short years on this earth David left his kind, funny mark on all of us who knew him.

"Perhaps they are not stars, but rather openings in heaven where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us to let us know they are happy." - Eskimo proverb

Stillness

2011-12-03T12:16:00.007Z

The recent gales had me transfixed staring at the trees in my garden bending and waving, twisting and straining.

Bundled up in my warmest clothes I sat outside gazing at the 40ft fir tree. The branches were frantic. Lashing around in every direction my first impression was that the tree trunk was solid and motionless. The longer I sat observing the more detail I noticed, and my first impression was not right. As gust upon gust battered the tree the branches reacted dramatically, while the trunk moved gently and gracefully. No drama, no sudden reaction just a smooth, benign response, to a potentially dangerous gale.

Our core (bodymind) would like us to remember that we too can have that still, but not unmoving capacity of the tree trunk. We don't have to get involved in the reactionary dance of those around us who may care more about how impressively they can "flap" and less about how still they can be when all around is in apparent chaos.

"Within you there is stillness and a sanctuary to which you can retreat at any time and be yourself." - Hermann Hesse

"It is the stillness that will save and transform the world." - Eckhart Tolle

I'll have peace please, with a side dish of contentment!

2011-10-13T17:50:00.002+01:00

I still consider being able to travel overseas as a privilege, everytime I travel though I seem to leave a little piece of myself there. I both yearn and dread leaving home as I know the effect it has on me....simultaneously exciting and unsettling. I can imagine myself in that "new" location, making friends, creating a life for myself and my family. Leaving some family behind as they grow more independent making their own way in life, saying farewell to friends with a sadness in my heart as I leave all that is familiar, juxtaposed with the joy of a new chapter in my life - what turmoil - and all created in my own busy headmind!

Ironically, yearning for peace and contentment leaves me in a constant state of flux, unsettled and wondering what's next? Striving to find something that I know can only be found within oneself. I have a framed embroidery hanging on my kitchen wall, done in 1993 by my friend Linda, she stitched one of my favourite quotes by German philosopher, Schopenheur who wrote,

"True peace of mind and complete tranquility are only to be found in solitude."

I'm sure we've all experienced times when we have been walking somewhere beautiful, and as our awareness falls on the beautiful surroundings we momentarily experience inner peace. This happens when we escape the busy headmind chatter, which can at times feel relentless.

When I experience inner peace for only one minute, then I know I have the capacity to extend that to two minutes, then five, then ten and with practise an hour may have passed.

Peace and contentment are within the reach of every single one of us. Perhaps travelling can unsettle us, highlighting areas we wish were different at home. However within our daily lives, from washing the dishes mindfully, to spending time outside with nature, we can tap into that essential peaceful core that exists within each and every one of us, wherever you happen to be!

"The greatest explorer on this earth never takes voyages as long as those of the man who descends to the depth of his heart." - Julien Green

Turning the other cheek

2011-08-24T19:40:00.005+01:00

My work and personal life have enabled me to both hear and witness life in full glorious (and sometimes not so glorious) technicolour. The hurt and pain experienced by those I work with often comes from their feeling let down, shocked, or shattered by the actions of someone close to them. Perhaps an accumulation of them turning the other cheek finally takes it's toll - their bodymind no longer allowing them to ignore outrageous, or just plain unacceptable behaviour towards them, and this "pile up" of held emotions results in de-pression, anxiety, IBS or non-specific pain.

Our expectations from those people closest to us are often created in our own heads, often as a result of what society dictates is the "norm" to be expected from a family member, colleague or boss. So when that publicly acceptable "norm" doesn't match what is being displayed in front of us we often come up with headmind justifications why this is happening. "Oh never mind....he was just having a bad day, it'll have blown over tomorrow!" or, "Yes but she's just venting at me because she knows I won't react, we all need to vent!"

It's very noble to turn the other cheek and to quickly be able to forgive someone for being hurtful, rude or just plain unkind, however there also comes a time when you should (and need to in fact) draw a line under a relationship where the person has become habitual in putting you down, criticising or disrespecting you.

Honour yourself, notice how you feel - of course there may be a sense of sadness when you end a relationship, but if the dynamics of your relationship are bully and victim, or demoralizer and enabler be your own friend and lovingly move away from that relationship.

"To love someone is to love their spirit - their essence. To seek to know them at their deepest level. To love what they love and to accept them fully for who they are." - Lowell Greenberg

Seeing what you want to.

2011-07-23T14:10:00.004+01:00

On Thursday evening I left Shetland on the last flight, as usual feeling a bit heavy hearted I plonked myself down on my seat and waited for the propellers to start turning, and the stewardess to start her spiel. It was a beautiful sunny evening, only 12 of us were on board, and I felt myself starting to unwind as the engines started to whirr. Taking off, looking down at the turquoise sea and rugged edges of Sumburgh head I turned my head and noticed that as the sun glinted off the propeller it made the exact shape of Alfred Hitchcock's trademark silhouette! The more I stared the more detail I could spot. The wisps of his hair, the distinctive chubby cheeks. It kept me transfixed for most of the journey to Aberdeen. Only when we travelled through some clouds on our descent did Alfred disappear and I was left staring glumly at the propeller simply doing its job.
Not for the first time in my life I was reminded that I can see whatever I want to see. This is not always the best trait! Trusting easily the person who appears kindly. Their smiling - therefore they must be good! Out walking on the hills desperate to spot a deer, I can see hundreds before I realise they're tree stumps. Often the ability to see what we want is harmless enough, funny in fact, but there will be times when, before we fall idly into believing what we see, we should practise noticing what that sight feels like. Engaging our heads and our body's can ensure we keep safe, without losing our creativity and sense of humour.

"It's not what you look at that matters, it's what you see." - Henry David Thoreau
" Don't be afraid to see what you see." - Ronald Reagan

Growing into you.

2011-06-30T14:27:00.011+01:00

I planted a load of wild flower seeds in April, they were so tiny I almost lost them in the creases of the palm of my hand! Yesterday I was weeding around the area where they're growing, they now stand about a 12inches high , swaying and moving in the breeze with elegant bends and curtsies, I marvelled at their size.

When my cousin was staying she planted some radish seeds, and 2 days ago I picked four of them to have in a salad, beautiful red, crisp and spicy, planted and tended to and now ripe and ready to eat.

As I planted the wild flower seeds I knew what to expect...the picture on the packet told me what varieties were in there. But I have no concept really on what the seeds go through to become the beautiful adult plants they are now. When cousin Jo-Ann put the radish seeds in the ground I didn't wait and watch expecting them to grow into onions. If I wanted onions I should have planted onions.

Sometimes we try to mould ourselves to be like others, to please them or perhaps we believe if we don't agree or go along with what they want from us we'll be rejected.

I'd rather be rejected by a person that have my bodymind reject me! My body is far more important, my health far more crucial than someone who wants me to ignore my core essence.

Your bodymind wants you to be authentic! Be the person you were born to be - don't ignore the little "nudges" you get, the insights into what you might like to do differently, pay attention! If someone is telling you to be something else, something that takes you away from your truth -STOP! Notice how your body feels around this person, notice how the body feels when this person is not with you. For your own life's sake be honest with yourself about what you want, and who you want to be in the world. When you start living authentically you'll start to attract the right people into your life and opportunities will present themselves to you that give you the chance to be who you know you are!

"It takes courage to grow and become who you really are." - E.E Cummings

Making comparisons

2011-06-19T18:45:00.004+01:00

While walking on a remote track on the island of Jura I came across the ruins of a cottage. The gable ends of the house stood, regally with fireplaces at each end. The walls stood less than half their original height, an isolated reminder of a life long forgotten.

On this walk the rain was falling (driving?) horizontally with gale force winds battering into my face and body, I felt invigorated!

It didn't matter as I was well wrapped up, but thinking of the crofters that once inhabited this barren place I thought about the clothing they had. Deer skins, sheep wool, leather from cattle - no Rab or North Face back then!

Mortality rate was high of course but were they made of stronger stuff? Is it impossible to think about living that way now because of all the comforts we have grown so used to having? They worked hard on the land to provide food for their families, and to protect themselves from the harsh environment.

Living in such a rural location I imagine they didn't have a lot of opportunity to compare their lives with others.

It was that thought that made me wonder about the frustrations and depressions some feel today. Is part of it because we compare our lives with that of our neighbours and disgruntlement sets in? Wanting more, expecting to be able to match what others have. So often this results in huge debts being run up and yet there is always more to strive for...more "stuff", more material bit and pieces as if gaining those will somehow make our life complete.

STOP!!! Just for a moment do a reality check on the life you have. There's nothing wrong with wanting to gain a better quality to your life, but pay attention to what your head is telling you "quality" is...my guess is your body may have a different idea!

It wants you to have the best quality of life, which to bodymind means quite simply the fundamentals of life! Without those foundations everything can feel out of balance. So keep in touch with friends, go out into nature and spend time outside of your home, eat well, rest and close your eyes to the media and society's bombardment that you need more.

"A wise man looks upon men as he does on horses; all their comparisons of title, wealth, and place, he consider but as harness." - Robert Cecil

Home is where the heart is.

2011-06-03T21:51:00.005+01:00

It's not news to those who know me that I love Scotland..the land, the people, the climate (amazingly, I don't mind the weird variants and wet springs, summers, autumns and winters) and yet after 3 years in my renovated house in a lovely Angus village I'm getting ready to consider a move back to Kirriemuir, just 10 miles from where I live now.

I moved to school in Kirriemuir when I was in primary 3, making friends I still have today. Now, as my son approaches the age to start high school I have a yearning to move back so he can go to the school his sisters and I attended.

The familiarity of the streets, the faces of the locals, though often I don't know their names, all give me a sense of comfort and reassurance that this is the place I want to settle.

I've moved and moved and moved again, living in a variety of locations as far north as Morayshire and as far south as Wiltshire, England - and here I am with my heart set on heading back to the home I left at 17years old.

I remember the anger I projected onto this town as a teenager. It was with a spring in my step I left to move to Moray where I'd been accepted to do my nurse training, a place I'd never visited, a place with unknown faces, and unknown streets.

It was not Kirriemuir's fault that I had some sad and bad memories! All my teenage angst projected onto a town whose red sandstone buildings I'd leant against and laughed with friends, the texture of the dry, dimpled stone so, so familiar.

And now...as an adult with a wealth of life experience I recognise the beauty of the familiarity my old town offers. If only my head and body had been aligned way back then I may not have run away 3hours north, I may have gone temporarily but come back to the place that I know so well without that bitterness in my heart.

So as the house hunting goes on I feel I have now made my peace with an old acquaintance called Kirriemuir.

"Home is a place you grow up wanting to leave, and grow old wanting to get back to." - John Ed Pearce.

Nature loves a cyclist!

2011-04-17T09:42:00.003+01:00

I'm really enjoying the spring weather and getting out on my bike!

Cycling along the roads I noticed nature wrapping itself around me, as if approving of my mode of transport.

A wren bobbed along ahead of me for a bit, then a hare, all legs, ears and tendons ran alongside then leapt over the ditch then cleared the fence and off it strode in giant leaps across the field.

It's so much easier to feel part of nature when one is silently pedalling alongside.

A sparrow hawk watched from a telegraph pole, only allowing me to get two pole lengths from him before elegantly diving off and settling again a safe distance from me.

In a newly ploughed field a plumped up buzzard jumped around like an over weight court judge trying to regain order in a rowdy courtroom.

Every way I looked something caught my eye and warmed my heart.

Why do we separate ourselves from all that lives around and with us?

Are we too busy? Living our lives too fast?

We live as one small part in a world full of other animals, plants and wildlife. How healing it is to spend some time simply observing that I am just one tiny person in an immense natural world.

"Come forth into the light of things, let nature be your teacher." - William Wordsworth

Making memories

2010-12-16T22:29:00.003Z

Last night I attended the Christmas concert at my son's primary school. It's always heart warming to watch the kids sing their songs and co-ordinate the "moves" they've been taught to go along with the festive music.

As I watched and listened to the enthusiastic singers pleasing the crowd I remembered the Christmas concerts I've been to over the years watching all three of my children.

Children are so precious. For each and every one of them on the stage last night I hope that their Christmas concert can be one of many happy memories they can stash away and remember fondly.

We all need to create a bank of memories so that when life flings us less favourable experiences we can remember better times, reminding ourselves that all things are transient and the good and the bad will pass.

When you're having a bad time don't let your headmind convince you that this is how it is, or that this is the way it will stay.

Be grounded and remind yourself of even the smallest lovely thing that happened to you recently.

"A life-long blessing for children is to fill them with warm memories of times together. Happy memories become treasures in the heart to pull out on the tough days of adulthood." - Charlotte Davis Kasl

Labels

2010-12-09T14:42:00.003Z

We have to be so careful when we label people, or indeed when we take to heart the label we have been given by others.

We are all different things to different people. I'm a mother, a friend, a colleague, a therapist, a supervisor, a daughter, a cousin, an ex-wife, a niece, a girlfriend, an aunt, a sister....and on and on!

In amongst all of those I will appear to be, happy, direct, grumpy, intolerant, unreasonable, spontaneous, loving, distant, gentle, annoyed, generous, worried, supportive, and more.

The truth is we can be a vast range of things to others; and yet we are none of them.

The label given to describe one person couldn't be further away from the label someone else may use. A label is a very personal perception.

When walking by a homeless girl I tried to imagine who she was. She was always so grateful when I gave her some money, or bought the magazine she was selling. Someones daughter, someones friend. Once she had shelter and yet now she stood with steam seeping from her nostrils, bent over in an attempt to maintain some body heat.

I never want to remember her as "just another homeless person" that label comes no where near to describe who she was, or how she came to be cold and alone.

If I label a homeless person upsetting to see, doesn't that just help to keep me a safe distance from their suffering? I could blame them for not making me feel good, seeing them as responsible for making me uncomfortable. They doesn't own that label - I do.

For this homeless girl to see me walking upright, wrapped up in clean warm clothing, carrying my shopping -might that not be upsetting for her? Isn't it likely that she feels uncomfortable being in this situation, heart sinking as she witnesses people averting their eyes as they try to ignore her plight?

She won't always have had the label of being a homeless person - she has a heart and a soul - and a history that only she knows. The girl I'm speaking of has since died of pneumonia.

Don't be too swift to live by the labels you've been given, nor be too swift to label others.

As you go to bed tonight notice who you are - how does that feel? What label might those people you interacted with today be giving you? Will their assessment be fair?

Would it feel different to expose more of who you really are? What does your headmind say to you that stops you? Practise showing the core essence of you, shed those protective layers and let the world appreciate the real you.

"Once you label me, you negate me." - Soren Kierkegaard

Stars in my eyes!

2010-12-08T09:54:00.006Z

I'm not exactly sure what woke me up at 3am, maybe an icicle falling off the roof, no matter whatever it was it ensured I was wide awake.

I got up from my cosy bed and opened the curtains to look out on the silent night. On seeing the black night sky I actually said out loud, "Wow!" The stars were so, so bright it was if the noise that had woken me was my house moving closer for a better look , and maybe a twinkle just tapped my bedroom window as it passed by.

I kept my curtains open and crawled back to bed, just staring in awe at the mass of beauty that hides during daylight hours and only displays itself when we disappear in to a dream state. Ironic I thought, what could be more dream like than the view I was looking at wide awake from my bed?

The longer I stared at the more brazen, bright stars the more I began to notice the less bold, shy one's hiding behind the shadowy glare of the brighter ones. A few clusters here, a solitary one there. Bit by bit the night sky seemed to be more willing to show me all the stars one by one, maybe it knew I was in awe, respectful of what I could see, not trivialising it but feeling humbled in fact by its vastness. Sometimes the "quieter" stars would only catch my eye for a second, but if I looked straight at it it seemed to disappear again.

I lay there wondering if those stars were still in existence today. All those light years away and though it may have already died many, many years ago, at that moment I was still experiencing it's beauty.

The night sky has always intrigued and fascinated me and I remember as a very young girl my Dad trying to explain the idea that some of the stars I could see weren't really there anymore. For a nine year old, that was quite something to get a handle on! Dad said, "It's like this, if you could fly up to that star now and you had a great pair of binoculars to look back down to earth you might be able to watch the Battle of Hastings in 1066 happening right before your eyes!" Let me tell you, I might have nodded knowledgeably giving the impression it all made sense, but believe me, it took years for me to understand what he meant! Good old Dad!

The stars remind me that we can all shine. Long after we have left this world we can leave a lasting memory. Some people will leap into your head when perhaps you're reminded of famous activists fighting for the underdog, or someone like Mildred Norman Ryder who for 28 years walked across America on a personal pilgrimage for peace. But what about the neighbour who clears the snow from his elderly neighbours drive, checking that he has enough food and isn't in need as winter weather closes in? Certainly a shining star for the vulnerable person he has quietly helped.

Artists of all varieties can leave their creativity and material legacy for others to appreciate for evermore. However, the bright light you leave doesn't have to be tangible. Kindness shines and touches others for many lifetimes.

Be still and let yourself feel what it is you'd like to do, or let yourself remember what you've done already to leave that sparkle for others to appreciate.

"A life lived with integrity - even if it lacks the trappings of fame and fortune is a shining star in whose light others may follow in the years to come." - Denis Waitley

Listen to yourself - maybe there's a better way!

2010-12-06T14:07:00.006Z

I remember as a teenager being out dancing, drinking and having a laugh with my friends and having fleeting moments during the evening where, looking around me, I believed there was nothing better than what was happening right there in that moment! Head spinning, laughing though not always completely sure what was so funny, surrounded by friends - what could possibly be better?

But - there was always an emptiness in my heart - a heavy emptiness and I never thought to ask if anyone else was feeling it. It was always there just a bit irritating, no matter how much I drank it just niggled away at me, I tried to suffocate it, drown it but heavier it got.

Sometimes I'd drink so much I'd be sick. At that most undignified point I'd sometimes catch myself thinking, "Okay, you win...that's enough with the heaviness...you're ruining a good night!"

It took me a longer time that I'd have liked to come to the realisation that, whatever I needed to do to be free from that empty, but sorrowful heaviness in my heart, would only become clear when I got a clear head.

Giving up drinking was hard to begin with, but 6 years on I can't really imagine a time in the future where I'd include alcohol in a list of things to do to give me a better life!

I know sometimes people use alcohol to ease the stress they feel at work, or to help them relax and unwind - and for most people that's fine. However, you'll know yourself if you're simply enjoying one or two drinks for social reasons, or if your drinking has become a crutch to help you "get through" life's ups and downs. Either way, in an aligned state you already know what you need to do differently, if anything.

Nowadays I only get that heaviness when I'm feeling sad, and I'm holding it in. I should add, as soon as I feel it starting to get "weighty" I will find a way to express it. Sometimes, I don't want to - but I know the consequences of not practising emotional honesty - and I am not up for my body getting so annoyed that it starts increasing the volume of symptoms until I start speaking up!

Keep yourself open to the possibility that it might be in your best interest to make some changes in your life - and embrace this chance!

"If you know someone who tries to drown their sorrows, you might tell them sorrow knows how to swim." - H. Jackson Brown Jr.

Incompatibility

2010-12-04T14:56:00.004Z

The first definition of incompatible in my dictionary reads, " incapable of living or existing together in peace or harmony; conflicting or antagonistic."

Incompatibility can infringe on many aspects of our lives, not just personal relationships. Once we recognise this fact and how it relates to our lives, it's then up to us what we do with that knowledge. Whatever action we take, either allowing our headmind to take the lead or preferably, keeping an alignment between our bodymind and headmind, our actions will consequently determine our physical and mental health.

If we can stay grounded with body & head aligned we may be able to see the areas of incompatibility in our lives and make decisions on how much we are willing to compromise with those areas. When doing this you must not lose sight of the core essence of you. By ensuring you are true to that aspect of who you are, and your actions reflect this honesty, the reward is health.

The alternative is to ignore the incompatibilities in your life, stay in your headsmind, justifying why it's okay to allow this relationship to continue. If you choose this route you may have to take the physical and mental consequences of this dis-connected relationship with your truth telling bodymind.

If you discover after signing a lease agreement that your flat mate is a strict vegetarian, and you get on well with them, though your dietary preferences are incompatible it doesn't mean the relationship has to be over!

If you are faced with a situation involving a person, people or organisation that feels like a compromise too think - STOP!

Be grounded and look at all the aspects of your relationship within that setting. How does it FEEL to imagine removing yourself from that position? Really paying attention to those feelings will enable you to make the right decision for you!

"What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility." - Leo Tolstoy
"The principles we live by, in business and in social life, are the most important part of happiness." - Harry Harrison

Measuring happiness

2010-11-26T12:16:00.005Z

So the UK government are going to put some questions together to gauge the well being of the nation, and yesterday on the radio I heard a BBC "expert" putting forward what she thought could be four of the questions.

* How much love do you have in your life?

* What's the first thought you have in the morning?

* If you could change one thing in your life what would it be?

* If you lost all your material possessions what would you be left with?

The first thought I have in the morning can vary from day to day - sometimes I think, "I must go for a wee!" or I can think, "Where am I? Forres? Shetland? London? Home?" the variations are limitless, but joking aside, I know what she's getting at - do I want to jump out of bed with glee diving head first into the day ahead? Or do I want to pull the duvet over my head and hide away from the world? Well thankfully for me these days I'm more of "jump up and get on with it" kind of person, though there have been times in my life when I have pulled the duvet up over my head and hidden away.

Measuring happiness is never going to be an exact science, and surely for each individual it's about noticing what you feel on a day to day basis. If you find yourself looking back and reminiscing about a time when you felt happier, ask yourself what was happening then? What was happening in your life that isn't happening now? Are you able to re-kindle any of those activities, friendships, hobbies? Are your emotional, physical & spiritual needs being met?

Remember that if we've had the experience of feeling happiness in our lives, we have the ability to feel that again. Life can of course throw us some devastating experiences, but human beings are amazing beings - and it is possible to recover, and be happy again.

Notice what you're feeling today, if you could feel happier what could you do now to take a step in that direction?

"Knowledge of what is possible is the beginning of happiness." - George Santayana

Butterfly

2010-11-23T12:03:00.003Z

The butterfly is so bright and beautiful. It flits around darting, seemingly without care or purpose, here to there, hither and thither.
I watch them in my garden - the first sighting in spring is always a great surprise to me and I watch with childlike intrigue following it's every move, wondering where it's going, what lies in store for this delicate creature?
Sometimes when I'm driving here and there catching up with friends, flying down to England to catch up with my daughters and the friends I made in Wiltshire, friends from a time in my life that appears to belong to someone else, I feel like that spring butterfly.
One year I stayed in a holiday house on one of the western isles of Scotland, in the living room displayed on the wall was a selection of butterflies with their wings pinned down, framed and sealed in one place forevermore.
I didn't like seeing them like this, it unnerved me, upsetting to see them so stationary, no flickering wings, no journeying with a destination unknown - just there - encased.
For now I embrace the opportunities I have from being able to travel and move freely from here to there, but at some point I want to be stationary, no pinning down of my wings, but me choosing to stop.

"Happiness is a butterfly, which when pursued, is always just beyond your grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you." - Nathaniel Hawthorne

One day at a time.....

2010-11-21T14:25:00.008Z

In 1979 when I was just eleven years old I remember singing along to Lena Martell's "One day at a time" on Top of The Pops...I didn't think much of it actually, it didn't really compare with the Bee Gees, Rod Stewart or the Sex Pistols!

Thirty one years later and I heard that track today and the words just seemed so pertinent.

"I'm only human, I'm just a woman

Help me believe in what I could be and all that I am

Show me the stairway

I have to climb

Lord for my sake

Teach me to take

One day at a time."

Sometimes what lies ahead of us, (or what we think lies ahead of us) seems daunting - too much to handle. So just accept that the stairway ahead, whatever that may be for you, is not insurmountable, it may challenge us, it may be hard work but simply taking one step at a time will enable us to get to the top.

Finally if you are aware that changes need to be made in order for you to live your life authentically and in health, and perhaps you are nervous about what your life will look like in the future. Try not to over think what might or might not happen when you reach the top of those stairs - simply remember that making the decision to change is like putting your foot on the first step of that staircase.

"The first step towards getting somewhere is to decide that you are not going to stay where you are." - John Pierpont Morgan

Success

2010-11-16T14:27:00.003Z

What constitutes success?

A client once told me that if I wanted to be busy and successful at one of my clinics I mustn't do too well as others were likely not to like it, and in her words they might try to, "bring me down a peg or two!" How extraordinary!

Her warning, albeit said with the best of intentions, didn't swerve me away from doing my job to the absolute best of my ability.

Success has to be personal - how we gauge it and how we perceive it. Our culture, the society we live in, our parents, the significant adults in our life - none should be able to dictate what success means to us as unique individuals.

Shifting your awareness to your feet on the ground, using all your senses to engage in this moment, start to recall all the things (big and small) that you have done successfully.

Paying your bills on time.

Making a meal for friends.

Passing the Diploma.

Bringing up your children.

Fixing the shelf.

Being a good neighbour.

In some way, all of us have been successful - and are continuing to be so.

If your headmind has been "given" less than favourable input from the significant adults in your life, who may have told you you were a disappointment to them, a born loser, unsuccessful, whatever it was - let it go!

If you have not "succeeded" in their eyes - why does that matter? Their perception of success belongs to them. Be happy with your successes for you!

"If you want to be successful it's this simple. Know what you are doing. Love what you are doing. And believe it what you are doing"- Will Rogers

Yes but...

2010-11-13T16:51:00.003Z

When I'm teaching a client how to constructively express themselves I often hear the expression, "Yes, but....".
What usually follows is something like, "Yes, but.. there's no point in me saying that to that person as it won't change them.." or, "Yes, but..if I say that I might ruin my friendship with them or upset that person!"
STOP!!
Constructive expression is the opposite of destructive expression.
When we keep grounded, noticing what we feel and saying it while staying connected to our body, we are going to be in a calmer place. Our words will be clear, concise and the way we deliver it will be unpretentious, the result is that the person you're speaking to is more likely to actually hear you.
When we are "wound up" and stuck in our heads..hell bent on letting that person hear what WE FEEL we are wrapped up in our ego and can blurt out any number of emotive, hurtful words.
This is destructive expression and is not what the peace loving, all knowing bodymind wants for you.
"Yes, but ... what if"...is a sign that you are not staying grounded in this moment. You have moved away from your body and are predicting the future, analysing and over thinking what might or might not happen.
Remember your body does not differentiate between you holding in your grief, or holding in your joy. It wants all emotions to be expressed....while keeping an alignment between your body and your head!
Do not worry either if by saying what you really feel now your, "Yes but.." is concerned with it not being what others expect you to say - others who thought they knew you! This can be a liberating journey for you, a time to notice what you feel and a time for others to hear it - constructively!
Enjoy practising staying in the NOW!

"Be yourself and speak your mind today, though it contradict all you have said before." - Elbert Hubbard

Turning towards the sun

2010-11-06T13:13:00.003Z

The other night I was at a Dougie MacLean gig - he's a Scottish singer/songwriter probably best known for writing the song "Caledonia" - which somehow manages to make you feel homesick even when you're home is in Caledonia!

Before performing one of his songs he explained it had been written following a visit to see his father in a hospice. He spoke very lovingly of his father, and explained that he had found conversation with him as he was dying very difficult. On this occasion he decided to ask his fathers advice on caring for a gladioli plant he'd been given, his fathers response, Dougie felt was very poignant and related not only to the plant but to life.

"The plant's not thriving Dad!" he said, "What should I be doing?"

"Turn the plant to the sun, just keep turning it - keep it in the sun!"

As Dougie got ready to sing the song he said, "Nothing thrives in darkness."

So true.

We can withdraw like wounded animals when we feel emotionally beaten, crawling into our caves and hiding away. Shutting the curtains on the outside world we can convince ourselves, that the pain will go away if we just don't see or interact with anyone or anything.

To me turning towards my "sun" has meant leaning on friends, sharing my deepest fears and sadness with them. By doing this they have helped illuminate the darkest corners of my heart - letting me see that despite the awfulness of what has happened in the past there is nothing to gain and everything to lose by staying with the darkness.

"Turn your face to the sun and the shadows fall behind you." - Maori proverb

PMS = Honesty?

2010-11-03T14:04:00.003Z

A deep sadness crept up on me today. My heavy heart felt cumbersome as I tried trundling on with my daily tasks - the intensity of my headminds interaction with me was such that there was no ignoring it! Bit by bit sad thoughts and memories crept into my mind and I felt heavy and tired.

I did think STOP! Then I shifted my awareness to my feet on the ground and tried to use all my senses to engage in the reality of NOW! It was then that I worked out (call me a genius if you like!) that I'm pre-menstrual, and it got me wondering....when folk have too much to drink they often expose a side of themselves seldom seen by others. Some might say, "the truth comes out" at those times.

Well, I don't drink any more - but I wonder if my PMS enables me to expose part of my true self I prefer, or choose, to keep hidden?

Of course I have sadness in my life, just as we all do, and I'd like to believe that I constructively express that sadness to my nearest and dearest friends as and when it arises. However I'm also willing to believe that sometimes I ignore it, believing that it will go away in time. But I know that holding in how we really feel will contribute to us developing physical symptoms, as that is the only tool the bodymind has to get our attention and encourage us to authentically express ourselves.

So, just as alcohol enables more freedom of expression to take place, with tongues loosening up and emotions tipping out, I wonder if my fluctuating hormones have the same effect?

Maybe, on the occasions I've not been as emotionally honest as I could be, my bodymind uses my hormonal changes like the release valve on a pressure cooker in order to avoid excessive build up and a return to symptoms.

Whatever it is - I feel better already having written this down!

All emotions are equally important and have a purpose, that purpose is to be constructively expressed. I mustn't see it as a sign of weakness that sometimes I get sad - I know my default setting is to have humour and laughter in my life - and sadness is okay too :)

"Women complain about pre-menstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself." - Roseanne Barr

Enjoying now

2010-10-31T15:21:00.003Z

Elisabeth Kubler Ross, author of many books on death and dying wrote, "It's only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth - and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up, we will then begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had."

Why do we wait until we have some bad news, or a life changing experience before we fully engage with life? Why does our own mortality come as a surprise to us? We all know our lives are a tiny, transient chapter - we may come back to this earth in a different body, or we may not. Whatever our beliefs THIS is where we are NOW!

So today I'm at Andrew's house in Perthshire. I'm sitting outside on a bench in his garden, bundled up in warm clothes writing with my favourite pen in "my blog" book.

It's a bright, sunny day and I can hear some dried leaves moving across the tarmac drive in the cool, gentle breeze.

There are blue tits and blackbirds in the trees and bushes. Occasionally venturing down onto the ground for seeds, and in the case of the blackbird, a rummage through the fallen sycamore leaves in the search for grubs and worms.

My son Charlie is with his Dad a few miles away. My girls are in England living their own lives.

The only thing I know, the only thing I can be completely sure of is that I am here - writing, and using all my senses to be here. Observing and absorbing all that is around me now, and with that comes a sense of serenity and peacefulness which is attainable at any time.

All it takes is for us to notice the moment we lose that connectedness with the moment we're in. Think STOP! Breathe consciously then engage all our senses in NOW!

It is exhausting staying in a split, separated state.

Why waste energy wondering and speculating what MIGHT happen tomorrow, or what other people MIGHT be doing right now.

The sun is warm on my face, there is a cool breeze. A rook is cawing perched high up in the sycamore tree - this is all I know to be true.

"Mindfulness is simply being aware of what is happening right now without wishing it were different; enjoying the pleasant without holding on when it changes (which it will); being with the unpleasant without fearing it will always be this way (which it won't)." - James Baraz.

Believe in yourself

2010-10-24T11:40:00.005+01:00

Don't underestimate yourself! Boredom is a huge contributor to physical symptoms. Imagine that loving, all knowing part of you seeing you being unfulfilled - your bodymind is duty bound to communicate when it wants you to change direction, move on and free yourself from that "making do" situation you have complacently fallen into.

Those symptoms put into words might be screaming, "I want more! I want to be the person I know I can be!"

You come into this world alone, and you'll leave it on your own. Is there really any point in conforming, compromising your own beliefs in order to satisfy others expectations?

Practise groundedness, prayer or meditation. It's at those quiet times of alignment that your personal truth can surface. What really makes your heart sing?

I remember working with a lovely, talented lady who went to work in a shop as part of her return to health. For a short while she felt a bit better, but then symptoms came back with a vengeance. There is nothing wrong with working in a shop, however this lady had been a talented city lawyer with a tremendous ability. I explained to her that if Picasso had been ill and on his return to health I gave him a "painting by numbers" set, initially he may have liked holding the brush, and seeing the colours, but very quickly symptoms would have rushed back as his creativity was being quashed. The same was true of this lady. It wasn't the case that she needed to go back to her high pressure job as a city lawyer, but certainly using the gifts she had as a problem solver was one part of her previous life that made her heart sing - she found a job that fulfilled that part of who she was, and as a result returned to health.

Life is too short to believe you can't be who you really are.

Be honest with yourself, about yourself, for yourself!

"Somehow I can't believe that there are any heights that can't be scaled by a man who knows the secrets of making dreams come true. This special secret, it seems to me, can be summarized in four C's. They are curiosity, confidence, courage and constancy." - Walt Disney.

Homesick here, homesick there!

2010-10-19T10:00:00.003+01:00

It's just 24 hours since I landed back in Scotland from a 2 week visit to family and friends in Canada.

I always leave with a heavy heart as the people there mean so much to me, though email and phones are a great way to keep in touch, being with them is much more fulfilling.

This morning as I sit waiting on my train to Aberdeen I am reminded how much I love being here too.

The ruins of Arbroath Abbey look dramatically dark silhouetted against the morning sun. Seagulls and pigeons are doing their thing..hobbling along the station platform, cooing and cawing as they do in train stations up and down the country. It's a cold, crisp morning and I have that familiar realisation that, despite my 42 years of Scottish autumns I'm not wearing enough layers.

As I sit on the train now I'm looking out on the north sea, vast and beautiful feeling glad to be back home.

I feel homesick for my friends in Canada, and grateful for my family, friends and life in Scotland.

I wonder if things were simpler, hearts less heavy, before world wide travel become so easy? We couldn't yearn for family and friends we'd never met, or a land we'd never seen.

Right now my heart feels full of happiness and gratitude for all that I have in my life. I have great memories of my trip which will tide me over until my next visit - gratitude too for my life in Scotland.

"The ache for home lives in all of us, the safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned." - Maya Angelou

Celebrate the challenges of life

2010-10-10T01:56:00.004+01:00

Rather than bemoaning our life experiences look at each one as fertiliser contributing to your growth.

Without the challenges, the heartbreaks, the loss, your development may well be stunted.

Shift your perspective and realise that sunshine alone is like feasting on bread; the initial outcome to fill our bellies is certainly achieved - but we will not thrive on bread alone.

"Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars." - Kahlil Gibran

The Flow

2010-10-05T15:50:00.004+01:00

Someone reminded me recently how easy it is to lose the connection that keeps us in the flow.

Life speeds up, and we quickly move away from doing the things that make our heart sing. As we separate from our body and feed into the headmind loop that life IS stressful, we remove ourselves from the very things, the activities our passions, that would keep us grounded, fulfilled and would maintain health.

Unlike rivers we have some control over the way our lives flow. Of course obstacles will appear and we will have to change our direction. Those rapids (white water) can soon be returned to a calm reflective pace as we quickly adapt to the "obstacle" and navigate our way round in the most effortless way we can returning as quickly as possible to our flow.

"Stress is basically a disconnection from the earth, a forgetting of the breath" - Natalie Goldberg.

Holidays

2010-09-26T18:44:00.002+01:00

In 5 sleeps I'm going on holiday with my 10 year old son and my middle daughter who will turn 21 years old while we're away.

My daughter will be sorting herself out, and we'll be meeting at Glasgow airport on Friday.

Today...a full 5 days before the event I started freaking out about all the stuff I have to do! All the stuff?

Make sure I have the tickets, passports, money, some clothes, toiletries. Then there's the bit before I go...water the plants, turn off the heating, give the neighbours any perishable foods I have left.

STOP! Wait a minute! Other than the tickets, passports & money there really is nothing else I actually need to remember to take. Also, as far as the things I need to do before I leave, of course it would be good if I could remember to switch off the heating before I go, both for environmental and cost reasons, but ultimately it wouldn't be the end of the world if I forgot to do everything on that "before I leave" list.

I need to go and write a list, that will quieten down my headmind and help me stay grounded and realise there is nothing to worry about!

When we let headmind take hold it really can run riot and have us going into panic mode as we lose our connection to being grounded in this moment NOW!

"Don't let your mind bully your body into believing it must carry the burden of its worries." - Astrid Alauda

The mum excuse

2010-09-16T18:57:00.003+01:00

I have been listening to Wayne Dyers, "The Shift" on CD.

He made me laugh when he spoke about how many times we blame our mothers for the problems in our lives.

He explained that in a session with a client he got so tired hearing her go on about how she couldn't do this or that, as result of how her mother had been when she was growing up, that exasperated he said, "Okay, get up and go home!"

"Why? What do you mean?!" questioned the confused client.

"Go home and get your mother! I'll work with her and once she's fixed you'll be fixed!"

By passing the buck and continually using, "the mum excuse" we avoid taking responsibility for our own happiness, which in turn means we are only depriving ourselves from achieving the life we want.

I too have been guilty of buying into that theory. I listen to a story from a client and think, "No wonder they lack confidence with a mother who criticised so effectively!" At some point, for our own benefit, we have to throw that belief away; shed it like a beautiful butterfly leaving the cocoon.

Mothers parent to the best of their ability. Sometimes it will have felt wrong, and often they were right, but what use does it serve us now to trawl through the memories of how they parented?

You are an adult now and can make choices for yourself. There is no time like the present to make a conscious decision to get on with achieving what you want from this life. Your time here is precious. Enjoy it!

"One of the blessings of becoming an adult is finally seeing Mom and Dad as people, not just parents." - Sara Shandler
" I think being an adult is learning not to be ashamed of what you want. And I think for a lot of us, it's hard to admit even to ourselves what it is we want. Much less to have other people see it." - Ira Glass, in a conversation with poetry editor Zoe Francesca.

Knowing what you like

2010-09-13T15:37:00.002+01:00

My son Charlie (10years old) has just come home from school in quite a sad (not bad) mood. I asked him what was wrong, "My teacher says I'm low-level, and I don't want to be with someone who tells me that!" I asked him what was going on when she said that. He looked at me glumly and explained, " We had some sums to do. I got 2 of them wrong and she was checking them with me and that's when she said that. "

I gave him a hug and told him that me and his Dad love him. His sisters and brother love him. Lots of people love him - and none of them would ever think or say, "Charlie! You're at a low-level!" It doesn't really MEAN anything. I explained that school is something that we go to, and sometimes we love what we learn, and we love the person teaching us - and other times we can't be bothered - nor do we particularly like the person teaching us...but the good news is that every night he gets to come home to a person, or people that love him very much.

He smiled and said, "I know Mum."

I also explained that we're all good at something and I know he loves to play football, and make little movies with lego figures. I explained about the importance of following what you feel passionate about and he agreed saying, "When I'm taking photos of my lego figures for a movie I don't even notice if I'm hungry or what the time is!" He does make me laugh! Children are so aligned - they have far less trouble connecting to what "feels" right than we do as adults. He knows it doesn't feel right to have someone pick fault with your ability, especially when it's really about him achieving something that she needs him to achieve.

The photo above is one from a sequence of 83 shots Charlie took as part of an animation he's putting together, and right now, having only been in from school for 20 minutes, he's setting up his lego figures for movie sequence number 2!

I do wish teachers would appreciate children for the individuals that they are and not dampen their belief in themselves. I know they have plans to stick to and targets to meet - but if a child isn't good at some thing is it right to label them and chip away at their self-esteem? I don't think so.

"Nine tenths of education is encouragement." - Anatole France
" If you want your children to improve, let them overhear the nice things you say about them to others." - Haim Ginott

Meaning

2010-09-12T17:36:00.002+01:00

We are unlikely to ever find our true calling if we spend days endlessly searching and looking, hunting high and low as if we've misplaced something. If we practise mindfulness and staying grounded in the moment, we can then really tap in to our intuition, that peaceful knowledgeable part of us that can gently guide us in the right direction, if we'd only allow it to!

I've been thinking about doing some volunteering recently, and as I sat at the traffic lights today pondering what options there are a car in front of me stopped, and the notice on the back windscreen said, "volunteer hospital driver."

I'm going to find out more about that and see if it's something I could do. Having a few points on my license might mean I don't fill their criteria, but I'll look into it, and if it's not the right thing perhaps I'll find something else in the process.

Whatever we do, be it in our job or volunteering by being mindful we can genuinely tap in to the feelings we have in relation to what we're doing and notice if it "fits" with who we really are. When we feel enthusiastic we can work passionately - no matter what the job is.

We've all had experience of meeting the check out person who clearly hates what they're doing. Their disgruntlement is oozing from every pore. The opposite is also true, the passionate , bubbly, chatty check out person who seems energised by their interaction with the shoppers.

Whatever you are doing in this life, sit with it, do you feel you are on the right path? Do you do it enthusiastically? Does it feel effortless? If you are thinking it's too much to be looking at changing your career path right now, economics being what they are....remember this...THIS is the life you are living. Can you really afford to be spending most of your day doing something you don't enjoy?

"When you discover your mission, you will feel its demand. It will fill you with enthusiasm and a burning desire to get to work on it." - W. Clement Stone.

Bedtime

2010-09-10T22:53:00.002+01:00

Night-time is a precious time. A time to drift into blissful sleep, a time to dream and float off to another place, and of course a time to let our body rest and heal.

I realise now than in order to make the best of those hours I need to prepare myself. Nothing too dramatic, more what I need to avoid really!

If I watch the late news at 10pm I can become quite upset by the media coverage of bad news, harrowing stories and the latest statistics on UK crime.

I can't do anything about the information they're bombarding me with, and it won't benefit anyone if I'm lying awake with the dramatic news footage going round and round in my head, so I allow myself the early news (if I really feel the need) but no news after that!

A cosy bath, a gentle book - bliss! Your night-time regime might not fit mine of course, so do whatever helps you make the most of those special few hours.

On that note...I must go to bed :)

"And if tonight my soul may find her peace in sleep, and sink in good oblivion, and in the morning wake like a new - opened flower then I have dipped again in God, and new created." - D. H. Lawrence

Loneliness

2010-09-06T19:13:00.003+01:00

Mother Teresa of Calcutta once said, "the most terrible poverty is loneliness, and the feeling of being unloved," I hear of loneliness so often from a cross section of my clients. It is not an older persons problem - it doesn't seem to discriminate, and can affect anyone.

It can be really daunting for the lonely to imagine taking steps towards meeting new people and building friendships. They often find it hard to believe that with great regularity I meet clients who are desperately sad as a result of feeling completely alone.

They can have busy work lives, surrounded by colleagues, and when the day is over those colleagues might drive home to a house full of family members - while they dread clocking off time as they know it will be many hours until the morning, and a time when they can feel "normal" again, back to the hustle and bustle of their working day.
Holiday time can see an increase in the depth of despair the lonely person feels. So sad when it should be a time to recoup and recharge their batteries.

I encourage all my clients to have some time on their own every day, as I do believe it to be health inducing, but when solitary time is all a person has, it becomes quite destructive to them emotionally and physically.

If you think you might know someone who is alone, speak to them - sometimes that's all it takes to get them to let go of the belief that no-one cares.

"The person who tries to live alone will not succeed as a human being. His heart withers if it does not answer another heart. His mind shrinks away if he hears only the echoes of his own thoughts and finds no other inspiration." - Pearl S. Buck

Material goods

2010-09-04T10:15:00.003+01:00

When my girls were little and I was a single Mum I was constantly struggling to make ends meet. Sometimes I would run out of electricity for the meter and pretend we were playing "living in the olden days." With candles burning and the open fire keeping us warm I managed to play a game, which enabled them to be completely oblivious to the reality of the situation.

Fast forward to 2010. My girls have left home now and are doing really well as grown-ups, I am immensely proud of both of them.

My 10 year old son Charlie has never wanted for anything, and his childhood experiences are quite different to theirs. I drive a nice car, I live in a lovely renovated cottage in a beautiful village - and I never forget how heavy hearted and inadequate I felt when I couldn't provide for my children. In the late 1980's I bought my first book on Buddhism and since then, as my work life has ensured a better (financially more secure) quality of life, I can remind myself of the irrelevance of material goods.

I meditate, practise yoga and enjoy sitting in peace.

I tell Charlie (more often than I should maybe) that he doesn't NEED every single bionicle figure, he doesn't NEED to play x-box live. Maybe I should play "living in the olden days" with Charlie too? Sitting in candle light with no electricity is no bad thing. Children become creative again, tapping in to who they really are rather than filling the void with mind numbing media.

Of course being financially stable is preferable, but we don't have to lose sight of what really matters just because we can effortlessly pay the bills and drive a nice car.

Ultimately all of our material possessions can disappear - and then what are we left with? If we forget to work on ourselves, and avoid practising finding inner peace, no amount of material wealth or belongings will ever satisfy us. Take time every day to be quiet, focus on your breathing and realise the transience of this life. Accumulating belongings is no substitute for inner peace.

"Possession of material riches, without inner peace, is like dying of thirst while bathing in a lake." - Paramahansa Yogananda

Making plans

2010-09-01T13:10:00.003+01:00

Most of us have dreams about what we'd like to do in the future - a future often far removed from where we are right now.

I'm all for staying grounded, living our lives as fully as we can whilst staying mindful of the moment we are in right now. However, this doesn't mean we shouldn't make exciting plans for our future.

Our headminds often try to sabotage our dreams by saying things like, "Yes but when you tried that before it fell flat!" or, "If you do that, what will your Dad think?!" and on, and on it goes.

If we really do practise the art of staying grounded in the moment, we can take effective steps towards realising our dreams.

We need to practise mindfulness in order to let go of the old belief that because we've failed in the past, we're therefore bound to fail again. Failing is part of succeeding! Only through making mistakes can we really learn.

I never shy away from trying something new. If I did how would I ever know what I like, what I want and what I definitely want to avoid?

Make a plan of what you want to achieve in this lifetime and start making plans. Write things down so you can see, step by step what needs to happen for you to get there.

" The things you want are always possible; it is just that the way you get them is not always apparent. The only real obstacle in your path to a fulfilling life is you, and that can be a considerable obstacle because you carry the baggage of insecurities and past experience." - Les Brown.

Spontaneity

2010-08-29T12:13:00.002+01:00

As we trundle along in our daily lives we often forget that actually it is health inducing not to have every moment of every day planned.

I'm sure we all remember being on a night out and being invited along to a party after the pubs and clubs have closed down....usually a great night ensued. Then we have the other experience of a party we've known about for weeks and weeks. The night arrives, we get ready and head off. The party is good, we enjoy ourselves but it's nowhere near as enthralling as the night we knew nothing about until it was happening.

Knowing how headmind works I wonder if as the invitation sits on the mantelpiece we over think how the night will pan out..predicting who will be there, imagining what we'll be wearing and on and on it goes.

Whereas, when someone says, "party back at mine if anyone is interested!" in that moment we are swept along with headmind and bodymind in alignment enjoying the opportunity to be spontaneous and engage in living in the moment.

We don't have to wait for someone to be having a party to be spontaneous of course! Even on a work day there will be time in the morning, or at the end of your day to be random and spontaneous - remind yourself how uplifting it feels to break with the routine - you deserve it!

"Spontaneity is the quality of being able to do something just because you feel like it at the moment, of trusting your instincts, of taking yourself by surprise and snatching from the clutches of your well organized routine a bit of unscheduled pleasure." - Richard Iannelli

What age gap?

2010-08-27T09:05:00.004+01:00

My friend Margaret and I first met me when I was 6 weeks old and she was 40years ahead of me. I don't remember much about that! She was the primary 1-3 teacher in a 3 teacher rural school where my Dad had gained the position of headteacher. My parents arrived from Dad's last post on Islay to a schoolhouse on mainland Scotland with 3 kids under 5 years old. Margaret was a regular visitor - nipping in at the end of the day to chat with Mum & Dad.

Many years past before I regularly saw Margaret again as I moved away and our lives were very separate. But in 1995 we re-kindled our friendship when my eldest daughter started weekly piano lessons with Margaret. At first I still felt like "the little girl" , but bit by bit as conversations extended beyond Emily's next lesson I started to learn that Margaret and I had quite a lot in common!

Over the last 15 years a lot has happened for both of us. We've listened to each other, and laughed so much we've cried - and we've cried with heavy hearts at the sadder times.

On Wednesday of this week I collected Margaret and we went out for the day up to Braemar. She named all the hills through Bridge of Cally and up into Glenshee - her old "stomping" ground as she called it. It was a beautiful, sunny day.

She strided up the main street in Braemar, sometimes ahead of me! We had coffee and a snack and headed home, stopping off at Glenshee pottery for more retail therapy and a cup of tea.

I loved listening to Margaret reminisce about her time up in Blairgowrie, cycling the roads and climbing the hills of Perthshire. How much richer my life is for having this friendship!

I think we all tend to make assumptions about people older than ourselves, but sometimes if we just take time to listen we might be surprised by what we hear....for me it's the realisation that, with Margaret at least, I have a dear friend who does understand me, while also sharing my sense of humour and enthusiasm for life.

"Nobody grows old merely by living a number of years. We grow old by deserting our ideals. Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul." - Samuel Ullman

Dead Wood

2010-08-23T15:30:00.005+01:00

As we grow we change. All living things are blessed (or cursed - depending on your viewpoint) with this characteristic.

I look on in awe as the rose bush I so lovingly planted gets new buds and grows bit by bit into a beautifully scented centre piece. As time passes it's important that I prune the rose otherwise the growth and well being of the plant could be compromised.

Are we any different from that rose?

There are times in our lives when it becomes apparent, that by pruning back on some of our relationships it would benefit our personal growth. Some relationships over time definitely become detrimental to our health. Spiritually, emotionally or physically - however it is affecting our growth - should we not learn to nurture ourselves and cut off the dead wood that may be restricting our growth?

The difference between plants and humans is that we have an emotional heart and a headmind that trawls us through the history of our relationships with others. So, though we know it would be in our interest to move on our heads say things like, " But they were with me when x,y & z happened, I've known them for years....!"

STOP! Look at the relationship now and treat yourself as you would that beautiful rose. Are you being weighed down by an old, once healthy, now toxic relationship? Well cut it off! Remember the good times fondly, and move on and become the person you can be without the old attachments.

"Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it's better to leave them broken than to hurt yourself putting it back together." - Anonymous

Empathy

2010-08-21T17:05:00.004+01:00

A friend of mine gave me the book, "Man's search for meaning" written by Viktor E. Frankl a psychiatrist who writes of his struggle for survival in Aushwitz and other Nazi concentration camps.

My friend Carrie explained that I would enjoy the message in the book. The thing is I'm reading it, but each page leaves me feeling physically sick. I try saying to myself, "those people he's writing about are no longer suffering. It's over for them now, and isn't it good that he wrote this amazing testimony to human nature?"

As I read Frankl's words I think of the once strong men being weakened bit by bit with every lash of the whip, every morsel of food removed from them their bodies wasting away. An unimaginable environment created to inflict pain and suffering on humans - by humans.

I am going to persevere with the book, but it may take me a while as I can only manage 2 0r 3 pages at one sitting.

I've often wondered if the reason I can't read harrowing stories or watch "real life" movies that show extreme suffering, is because I over empathise with the people involved.

Interestingly, in my daily work I often hear incredibly sad stories from my clients and I am able to stay grounded and give them the support and guidance they need to help them deal with the issues facing them. I don't sit in floods of tears nor am I struggling to keep it together when they open up to me - far from it. I can certainly feel sadness for what they've been through, but somehow I feel really able to listen and give the support they need to re-gain their health and vitality.

Perhaps then my inability to read or watch human suffering is because I feel powerless, unable to help or save any of those people in desperate need, whereas in my professional capacity I can DO something to help stop a clients' suffering.

On a lighter note I remember watching TV a few years ago and as the tears flowed freely down my face Tina came in and said, " Oh Mum! What are you watching?!" Through my sniffles I said, "Oh..it's Groundforce."
"Groundforce?? GROUNDFORCE the gardening programme you mean?" Tina questioned.

"Yes! That woman is a nurse and she's just come home from her shift and found that they've completely transformed her garden into a beautiful place for her to sit and relax!"

"Okay," said Tina tentatively. "EMILY! come through and see this..Mum is crying at Groundforce!"

My girls weren't laughing at me (I don't think! ) but they were intrigued at the fact that a gardening programme provoked such an emotional response.

"Some people think only intellect counts: knowing how to solve problems, knowing how to get by, knowing how to identify an advantage and seize it. But the functions of intellect are insufficient without courage, love, friendship, compassion and empathy." - Dean Koontz

Having a laugh!

2010-08-16T20:59:00.007+01:00

On Thursday night I had my friend Gillian staying. We had heard the news of the meteor shower and at 11pm we went outside and perched ourselves on the garden chairs to watch the night sky. Our neck pain soon became too much so we dragged out some blankets to lie on, a couple of cushions for our heads, and a big duvet to keep us cosy.

Lying there it was fantastic! Pain free, we lay there for 2 hours and the time just flew by. We saw numerous flashes and shooting stairs with bright tails trailing behind - wonderful! The laughter started during one of our "oohs" and "aaahs" when through the darkness of the night Gillian noticed we were doing synchronised pointing as we spotted yet another shooting star.

Giggling and laughing the night away it reminded me of how important it is to have a really good belly laugh with friends, and not just now and then but on a regular basis! Apart from the chemical aspect of it releasing lots of the feel good endorphins it also reminds us we're alive. A life without laughter is no life at all. So, even when...in fact, especially when you've had a rough day, find some way of bringing humour into your day.

"Good humour is a tonic for mind and body. It is the best antidote for anxiety and depression. It is a business asset. It attracts and keeps friends. It lightens human burdens. It is the direct route to serenity and contentment." - Greenville Kleisser.

The joy of health!

2010-08-15T21:06:00.007+01:00

When a client has been unwell for a while even the most apparently easy activities can be impossible because of the extent of their symptoms. Once they've started applying reverse therapy, and their symptoms have started to reduce, it's great to hear them describe their excitement as they are able to do activities and tasks that were previously unattainable.

What I love is the delight when they describe going for a walk again on their favourite beach, or going out for a meal with a group of friends, having a swim...or even managing to iron the kids school clothes!

This is where we must not forget the uniqueness of what makes us feel a warm sense of achievement, for one it could be the ironing while for another it may be baking a cake.

Whatever it is that makes you remember you're fit and well - do it!

"A healthy attitude is contagious but don't wait to catch it from others. Be a carrier." - Tom Stoppard

Strength for Battle

2010-08-14T16:46:00.004+01:00

Over the years, I like so many, have had to muster strength to stand up for something I feel strongly about. Often, these occurrences happen at moments in my life where I have felt at my lowest ebb.

In the main, issues affecting my children bring up the strongest need to respond, though I've also felt compelled to respond to injustices against myself when perhaps ignoring it would have been a far easier option.

In that moment of being consumed by the conflict or battle the all consuming nature of it can have me losing all track of time, forgetting myself as I'm swamped by the urgency I feel. I am aware of a determination I didn't know was in me as I stand my ground, and remain strong even as I face a seemingly insurmountable force.

Being passionate about the issue certainly seems to heighten my focus though often with adverse effects to my physical body. So now, if I'm embroiled in supporting someone close to me and helping them unravel a problem or fight for their rights, I know the importance of not ignoring my body's needs for nutrition, rest and nurturing. The Vietnamese Buddhist monk & author Thich Nhat Hanh teaches a simple method to help ground oneself which I use a lot. Saying to oneself as you breathe in and out,

"Breathing in, I am peace. Breathing out, I am calm."

I will not stop fighting for what I believe in, nor will my passion for justice ever dwindle. However, I also recognise that to maintain my mental stamina I must also respect my body.

"A warrior of light is never indifferent to injustice. He knows that all is one and that each individual action affects everyone on the planet. That is why, when confronted by the suffering of others, he uses his sword to restore order." - Paulo Coelho.

Home

2010-08-06T15:10:00.003+01:00

Recently I was speaking with a friend about our homes. She has lived in her's a long time and though it's not in the location of her dreams her heart is satisfied there as she is close to her family.

In my life I have moved house 27 times. 4 of the moves happened when I was a child so the remaining 23 happened from when I left home at 15years old til now, aged 42. The thing is...the house I'm in now I moved into 3 years ago. I bought it 4 years ago, and the renovations took 9 months to complete. I made it exactly as I wanted , from bathroom suites, to kitchen units, the spindles on the staircase to the colour on the walls - perfect. Charlie (my son) chose the colour of his bedroom too - a beautiful, bright purple, with light fittings and curtains to match. I have now officially been living in my house longer than I've lived anywhere, and I can feel an agitation creeping back into my psyche.

I do love the material home I have made, but I miss my friends so deeply it makes me ache at times.

I did my "growing up" 3 hours north of here on the beautiful Moray coast and I'm still in touch with many of my friends up there. I was 17years when I moved there to do my nurse training, and I stayed in that area off and on for over 1o years.

I want to give my son the stability of finishing school where we live now so he can be with his friends and see his Dad throughout these important years. I meditate to keep hold of that peaceful place in my heart, as I know that having peace within me will stop me from doing anything rash!

Over the years friends and family have got used to writing my "new" address in pencil in their address books. I must have kept the "New Home" card industry in business over the years!

I am in awe of those dear friends of mine who have bought their houses at the start of their lives together and have that air of contentment which has, so far eluded me.

I have been blessed with having many, many friends and good people in my life, and for that I am extremely grateful. I will keep in touch with you all and, for now, stay put in a home that I am incredibly fortunate to have. A home for Charlie to grow up in, a place filled with his laughter and a warm place for my friends and family from every corner of the world to visit and be welcomed with open arms!

"The most valuable things in life are not measured in monetary terms. The really important things are not houses and lands, stocks and bonds, automobiles and real estate, but friendships, trust, confidence, empathy, mercy, love and faith." - Bertrand Russell

Gratitude

2010-08-03T10:31:00.003+01:00

My parents always taught me to say please and thank you - especially when we were visiting friends or family.

Sometimes a glare from one of them or a, "What do you say?!" through gritted teeth was enough of a prompt to have me oozing gratitude as instructed.

But at times I really didn't feel pleased nor thankful. I resented being cornered into it - but I did it nonetheless.

Fast forward 35 years and I smile to myself as I think about me, the grumpy 7 year old, trying to be a rebel, but conforming every time!

Today I feel gratitude for everything. When I go to the cash machine and it gives me the money I've requested instead of showing me that heart sinking message, "Sorry, you have insufficient funds. You can withdraw £0.00 today". When my daughters call me up and they sound happy and well. Being warm in my bed and hearing my son's deep restful breathing as he sleeps soundly next door. For all of it I am grateful.

The natural beauty of my homeland never ceases to render my heart bursting with gratitude. I have many bird feeders in my garden and a vast array of regular winged visitors. Mr & Mrs Blackbird are particularly good at expressing their thanks for the food I leave them. Hanging around after they've eaten their fill, tilting their heads, looking at me keenly as if nodding in appreciation.

One morning as I worked my way through filling all the feeders, I took a break and sat on my doorstep to watch them while I rang my daughter Emily. She didn't answer so I left a short message. Thinking I'd hung up I carried on with what I was doing. Later that day Emily rang me laughing and saying that she had a 5 minute message from me saying, " Hello Mr Blackbird, you're a handsome boy. Oh hello Mrs Blackbird, what are you up to today? Did you enjoy your snack Mr & Mrs Blackbird?" and on and on...!

I do get excited by the animals, plants & scenery around me, and when other aspects of my life are difficult and challenging nature is a constant pleasure to me - and for that I am truly grateful.

A man who wrote beautifully on his love of nature was Roger Deakin. I recently read his book, "Wildwood: A journey through trees" and I would highly recommend it.

"Gratitude: You are aware of the good things that happen to you, and you never take them for granted. You always take the time to express your thanks. Gratitude is an appreciation of someone else's excellence in moral character. As an emotion, it is a sense of wonder, thankfulness, and appreciation for life itself. We are grateful when people do well by us, but we can also be more generally grateful for good acts and good people ("How wonderful life is while you're in the world"). Gratitude can also be directed toward impersonal and nonhuman sources - God, nature, animals - but it cannot be directed toward the self. When in doubt, remember that the word comes from the Latin, gratia, which means grace." - Martin E.P Seligman, Ph.D

Sisters

2010-08-01T17:33:00.002+01:00

I was thinking a lot about siblings yesterday as a friend of mine had been upset by someone and as you'd expect, her friends rallied, as did her sister. You could tell that the comforting words from her sister were coming from that place that only sisters know. Genuine care for someone who is part of you, but separate.
Brought up in the same household, though the memories can be quite different. Sharing the same fertilizer and growbag - same nutrients, same environment. My sister, Ellie lives in Melbourne with her partner and children and we talk on the phone regularly to catch up on each others news. I miss being the kind of Auntie that can step in at the last minute to babysit, or just pop round to hang out at their house. Ellie and I shared a bedroom when we were growing up. In that room were two single beds and a double, we always shared the double - much cosier! She's three years older than me and she looked after me well :) After a long day picking potatoes on cold October days I'd be crying with back pain and she'd let me get in the bath first to help ease the pain! I wouldn't want you to think that Ellie and I have never had our "moments" of course we have! But even when we disagree we can sort it out and be close again. Ellie also had a devilish side when we were younger (I should add that I'm not implying I didn't!). If I couldn't get to sleep at night I'd ask her to play me a tune on her guitar, something beautiful. She would start playing very gently, and I would feel myself drifting into that heavy, restful place just about to drop over to blissful sleep when she'd suddenly start doing a bad imitation of a Spanish guitarist, slapping the wood of the guitar with the palm of her hand and strumming loudly - BRAT! :)
It always makes me sad when I hear that siblings have had such major disagreements that they no longer have contact with each other, but at the same time I know it's unrealistic to maintain a relationship with anyone, sibling or not, if it's destructive and damaging. I'm grateful that I don't have that issue and hope that you have the best possible relationship with the siblings in your life :)

"If you don't understand how a woman could both love her sister dearly and want to wring her neck at the same time, then you were probably an only child." - Linda Sunshine

Being excited

2010-07-31T10:14:00.000+01:00

Last night I went to bed at 11pm, read for a while then woke up at 2am and I was still awake at 4.30am..not sure what time it was when I eventually fell back to sleep. When I woke up at 2am I felt really excited. Why? Because I'd dreamt, and not for the first time, that I was on the Oprah Winfrey Show!!! I know, I know! I've not even seen her show since 1998 when I had satellite TV. Lying awake I planned what I'd wear, I felt the heat of the lights on me in the studio and I remember thinking, "I must speak slowly because I know I speak too quickly when I get excited and the US audience might not be able to cope with my Scottish accent!" So, that scenario kept my headmind busy in a wide awake state for a few hours.

I really think that my default setting is to be excited by life, happy and enthusiastic. Like every other human I've not been immune to my share of harrowing life changing events which at times have left me completely flattened and devastated. However, each time following a period of time where I've cried so hard I thought my face would never return to normal my eyes eternally puffy I have returned to my default setting. That zest for life, that excited feeling has never been quashed.

On Christmas Eve 1976 I was 8 years old, and the youngest of 3 children. I WAS EXCITED!! My brother and sister were standing looking out to the night sky and my brother shouted, "There's Santa flying past!" I ran to the window and I swear I saw Santa and his reindeer high in the sky flying in the moonlit sky - I WAS ECSTATIC!

Oliver Twist was on TV, my brother and sister were told to go and watch it. Mum summoned me to sit on her knee she had a few things to tell me. My heart was pumping in my throat, I was hot with excitement and I knew (as did my Mum) that sleep tonight was going to be virtually impossible. Mum proceeded to tell me the truth about Santa...but it didn't stop there..she then told me the truth about the Tooth Fairy...but it didn't stop there..she then told me about Dads willie and Mum's hedgehog being involved in my production. Oh my goodness! If ever there was a time when I thought my default setting would forever be a faint memory that Christmas Eve was it! I do wish my family had chosen a different name for the female genitalia.. I always gave Beatrix Potter's Mrs Tiggy Winkle series of books a wide berth as as result of them choosing that name!

The good news is that although that Christmas Day was a bit of a mish mash of confused images in my head I soon realised that I still got presents from "Santa", I still got a 10pence under my pillow from the "Tooth Fairy" and the other stuff I just didn't think about, so life was good again and back to being an exciting adventure.

When I think about the people I have lost in my life I am reminded that I have the gift of life and that makes me want to love it, live it and feel excited about being here.

"The creative, loving-something life is also the healthy one. There is healing and protection in doing what makes you happy." - Richard Bach

Pain

2010-07-29T19:11:00.000+01:00

On Tuesday I had the mother of all migraines - all encompassing, all consuming and just plain annoying!

It got me thinking about how aligning pain is. There seems to be no separation between headmind and bodymind when one is consumed by pain. The opposite is true too - when we are overwhelmed by joy :)

Thinking about when I gave birth to my children the pain was all I could focus on, but the moment I held them my headmind & bodymind alignment had me consumed by love and joy.

Just think, if we practised the art of being grounded in now we could recognise the sensations and feelings we have in each and every moment - understand that it's all transient and therefore be less attached to them.

I found a lovely passage in Ekhart Tolle's "Stillness Speaks" that explains it beautifully.

"Nothing could be more normal than an unwillingness to suffer. Yet if you can let go of that unwillingness, and instead allow the pain to be there, you may notice a subtle inner separation from the pain, a space between you and the pain, as it were. This means to suffer consciously, physical pain can quickly burn up the ego in you, since ego consists largely of resistance." - Eckhart Tolle

What our parents teach us

2010-07-24T19:14:00.000+01:00

When I started doing reverse therapy I was quite amazed at how many of my clients had a parent with the same condition, ME/CFS, depression, or anxiety for example. Now, 6 years on I have a clearer idea of why this happens.
As we're growing up we learn so much from our parents or the significant adults around us. If a parent is very good at hiding how they really feel and putting a brave face on for their children then they will learn to apply the same principle to their life.
Now those of you who know about RT will recognise that by living our life "appearing" to others that we're fine and unaffected by life's ups and downs will inevitably lead us to developing symptoms - and while we're doing that we're also teaching our children how to live this way and end up with the HM / BM split which leads to a variety of dis-eases.
So, when I work with a new client I often say to them, "Would friends describe you as someone who is rarely up or down, always the same and easy to get along with?" They usually nod in keen agreement and then I add..."That's what I thought - and that will be part of the reason you're having some of these awful symptoms!"
Practise even in just a small way, noticing what you feel when you're with a friend or colleague, someone you would normally be upbeat and cheerful with and just be completely authentic about what you're really feeling at that time. Bit by bit as your BM witnesses you putting this "authentic you" into place you will start to feel so much better you'll want to practise more and more, until putting on the face that says, "I'm fine, nothing troubles me EVER!" will be a faint memory!

"Children learn very fast and are usually more willing to respond to true principles and change than adults...........When parents condemn or ridicule a child for his feelings, he becomes confused. A child views his parents as knowing everything and always being right. So, he thinks something must be wrong with him - that he doesn't know what he is feeling. He may say or think to himself, " I must not know what I'm feeling because Mom or Dad said so." When this happens over and over, the child starts to doubt himself. When the self-doubt is consistently reinforced, eventually, he will turn his feelings off, because emotionally it is too painful to be unsure of himself and his feelings on a continual basis." - Karol K. Truman

Blame

2010-07-22T20:48:00.001+01:00

Have you ever noticed that when something goes wrong we try to find something or someone to blame?
Today I was cutting the grass on a sit-on lawnmower and I looked behind me to check it wasn't dropping any of the cuttings behind me and drove straight over a tree root that was protruding through the grass bending the blades and completely churning up the grass! The tractor engineer came out to collect the lawnmower as it had to be taken away to be fixed. He said it was probably something to do with the timing belt I said, "No I don't think so..come and see this!" I showed him the tree root that I'd successfully taken a huge chunk out of , and the churned up grass beyond it as I'd driven on oblivious to what I'd just done (never heard the bang as I had my ipod on!).
He laughed and said, " at least you're admitting it!" I couldn't understand what else I could have done and he went on to say, " you'd be surprised how many times I pick up a lawnmower with bent blades and ask the person what they've hit and they immediately say, "nothing!" "
Now, I've been thinking about this today and I think sometimes our HM's are so full of what we were taught as we were growing up that we get "scared" about the idea of getting a row from a parent (or authoritative figure) so we automatically go into a defensive mode trying to deny we were part of anything that went wrong! Just say it as it is - you're a grown up now and have no need to hide or be frightened by telling the truth any more. We all make mistakes, it's a natural part of being human :)

" Take your life in your own hands and what happens? A terrible thing: no one to blame." - Erica Jong

Awareness

2010-07-21T09:16:00.000+01:00

Last night I was pottering around in the kitchen thinking about all the things I had to do before tomorrow. Charlie's going off camping and I needed to sort out his clothes and make supper for us both and on and on went my head! I looked up for a moment and saw the weirdest shaped clouds in the sky with a lovely red and orange background - really beautiful.

It dawned on me how anxious I had been getting with all the thoughts whizzing around my head, the time was rushing by and I felt a bit overwhelmed with all that needed to be done. So I put down the dishes I'd been washing and went up to my bedroom. I opened the two large windows that look out over the setting sun and just enjoyed breathing in the cool evening air. Being still I could notice the slight sound of the rustling leaves in the breeze. I could even hear the cattle in the field ripping up the grass as they fed - everything fell back into alignment. My head had stopped worrying and I was focused purely on engaging all my senses in that moment of stillness. I only stayed up there for 15minutes, but that was long enough to remind myself that peace is always within my grasp. I had become aware I was getting uptight with all the tasks I thought I had, but rather than feeding into the loop I was able to stop and be still again. I should add that I've still not done everything! Charlie goes away at 4pm today - and I'm enjoying writing this, and I'm going out to play football with him in a few minutes! All the jobs will be done by the time he has to go :)

" Stop trying to push yourself somewhere. Then someday you will understand that simply by awareness you have already attained what you were pushing yourself toward." - Anthony de Mellow

Being a child

2010-07-20T20:01:00.000+01:00

What a glorious day it's been today! I spent the day with a lovely friend who came up on the train from Edinburgh, we chatted and laughed, and laughed and chatted! We also had a few poignant moments as we empathised with each other over the sadder times of our lives.
I love being able to have days with friends when everything and anything can be discussed!
There's something very childlike about the kind of frankness one can share with a friend - but why do we restrict it to our nearest and dearest? Children don't!
Just once in the day surprise yourself by being completely frank to someone you know but are not that close to. This is not about you being offensive of course...I wouldn't want you to put your safety in jeopardy, but say something that is honest and true to what you're feeling at that moment. Notice what you feel when you do that - I find it liberating and fun, I hope you do too! :)

" A child can be a great teacher in your journey toward higher consciousness. A young child can give you a continuous demonstration of what it is like to live in the here and now before the rational mind affects the stream of consciousness." - Ken Keyes, Jr.

Passion

2010-07-19T15:39:00.000+01:00

Yesterday I was talking with a dear friend of mine from Shetland about the work I do in Reverse Therapy.
I found myself feeling quite emotional when I explained to her how grateful I am to have this job. The word "job" doesn't really sit comfortably with it as I don't ever feel like I'm working (in the technical sense) when I'm having a session with a client. I feel completely at ease in my role and can see quite clearly what it is the person needs to be doing or saying differently in order to re-gain that alignment between their headminds and bodyminds - and once they apply what I'm teaching in the majority of cases the symptoms reverse. I must have the best job in the world!
I have tremendous gratitude towards the people I meet and I never cease to share their excitement when they come in and tell me they've not had symptoms since their last session!
I'm passionate about the work, and I'm told that comes across in the session. I can't hide my enthusiasm about it and although initially I think this can be a bit of a surprise for some clients I know that after an hour of working together they can relax and smile with me as I share my passion for their recovery.
I put up the photo of me cartwheeling in Shetland last summer as it felt the most appropriate for this blog today!

"What is your passion? What stirs your soul and makes you feel like you're totally in harmony with why you showed up here in the first place? Know this for certain: Whatever it may be, you can make a living doing it and simultaneously provide a service for others. I guarantee it." - Dr Wayne W. Dyer

Welcome!

2010-07-17T21:28:00.000+01:00

Welcome to my first ever blog!

Peace and contentment are surely the only human qualities to strive for.
Amongst the daily turmoil we should take time to be still, breathe and tap into that peaceful place every day, even if it's just for a few minutes.

When we quieten our headminds (HM) and allow an alignment to happen between our HM's and bodyminds (BM) we can really focus on being grounded in this moment NOW! It's only in this place that we can let go of all the worries about the future and sadness from the past.

"Love yourself. Love your soul and let go of the past. Past pain is keeping you in pain. You don't have to deteriorate." - Yogi Bhajan