Being excited

Last night I went to bed at 11pm, read for a while then woke up at 2am and I was still awake at 4.30am..not sure what time it was when I eventually fell back to sleep. When I woke up at 2am I felt really excited. Why? Because I'd dreamt, and not for the first time, that I was on the Oprah Winfrey Show!!! I know, I know! I've not even seen her show since 1998 when I had satellite TV. Lying awake I planned what I'd wear, I felt the heat of the lights on me in the studio and I remember thinking, "I must speak slowly because I know I speak too quickly when I get excited and the US audience might not be able to cope with my Scottish accent!" So, that scenario kept my headmind busy in a wide awake state for a few hours.

I really think that my default setting is to be excited by life, happy and enthusiastic. Like every other human I've not been immune to my share of harrowing life changing events which at times have left me completely flattened and devastated. However, each time following a period of time where I've cried so hard I thought my face would never return to normal my eyes eternally puffy I have returned to my default setting. That zest for life, that excited feeling has never been quashed.

On Christmas Eve 1976 I was 8 years old, and the youngest of 3 children. I WAS EXCITED!! My brother and sister were standing looking out to the night sky and my brother shouted, "There's Santa flying past!" I ran to the window and I swear I saw Santa and his reindeer high in the sky flying in the moonlit sky - I WAS ECSTATIC!

Oliver Twist was on TV, my brother and sister were told to go and watch it. Mum summoned me to sit on her knee she had a few things to tell me. My heart was pumping in my throat, I was hot with excitement and I knew (as did my Mum) that sleep tonight was going to be virtually impossible. Mum proceeded to tell me the truth about Santa...but it didn't stop there..she then told me the truth about the Tooth Fairy...but it didn't stop there..she then told me about Dads willie and Mum's hedgehog being involved in my production. Oh my goodness! If ever there was a time when I thought my default setting would forever be a faint memory that Christmas Eve was it! I do wish my family had chosen a different name for the female genitalia.. I always gave Beatrix Potter's Mrs Tiggy Winkle series of books a wide berth as as result of them choosing that name!

The good news is that although that Christmas Day was a bit of a mish mash of confused images in my head I soon realised that I still got presents from "Santa", I still got a 10pence under my pillow from the "Tooth Fairy" and the other stuff I just didn't think about, so life was good again and back to being an exciting adventure.

When I think about the people I have lost in my life I am reminded that I have the gift of life and that makes me want to love it, live it and feel excited about being here.

"The creative, loving-something life is also the healthy one. There is healing and protection in doing what makes you happy." - Richard Bach

Pain

On Tuesday I had the mother of all migraines - all encompassing, all consuming and just plain annoying!

It got me thinking about how aligning pain is. There seems to be no separation between headmind and bodymind when one is consumed by pain. The opposite is true too - when we are overwhelmed by joy :)

Thinking about when I gave birth to my children the pain was all I could focus on, but the moment I held them my headmind & bodymind alignment had me consumed by love and joy.

Just think, if we practised the art of being grounded in now we could recognise the sensations and feelings we have in each and every moment - understand that it's all transient and therefore be less attached to them.

I found a lovely passage in Ekhart Tolle's "Stillness Speaks" that explains it beautifully.

"Nothing could be more normal than an unwillingness to suffer. Yet if you can let go of that unwillingness, and instead allow the pain to be there, you may notice a subtle inner separation from the pain, a space between you and the pain, as it were. This means to suffer consciously, physical pain can quickly burn up the ego in you, since ego consists largely of resistance." - Eckhart Tolle

What our parents teach us

When I started doing reverse therapy I was quite amazed at how many of my clients had a parent with the same condition, ME/CFS, depression, or anxiety for example. Now, 6 years on I have a clearer idea of why this happens.
As we're growing up we learn so much from our parents or the significant adults around us. If a parent is very good at hiding how they really feel and putting a brave face on for their children then they will learn to apply the same principle to their life.
Now those of you who know about RT will recognise that by living our life "appearing" to others that we're fine and unaffected by life's ups and downs will inevitably lead us to developing symptoms - and while we're doing that we're also teaching our children how to live this way and end up with the HM / BM split which leads to a variety of dis-eases.
So, when I work with a new client I often say to them, "Would friends describe you as someone who is rarely up or down, always the same and easy to get along with?" They usually nod in keen agreement and then I add..."That's what I thought - and that will be part of the reason you're having some of these awful symptoms!"
Practise even in just a small way, noticing what you feel when you're with a friend or colleague, someone you would normally be upbeat and cheerful with and just be completely authentic about what you're really feeling at that time. Bit by bit as your BM witnesses you putting this "authentic you" into place you will start to feel so much better you'll want to practise more and more, until putting on the face that says, "I'm fine, nothing troubles me EVER!" will be a faint memory!

"Children learn very fast and are usually more willing to respond to true principles and change than adults...........When parents condemn or ridicule a child for his feelings, he becomes confused. A child views his parents as knowing everything and always being right. So, he thinks something must be wrong with him - that he doesn't know what he is feeling. He may say or think to himself, " I must not know what I'm feeling because Mom or Dad said so." When this happens over and over, the child starts to doubt himself. When the self-doubt is consistently reinforced, eventually, he will turn his feelings off, because emotionally it is too painful to be unsure of himself and his feelings on a continual basis." - Karol K. Truman

Blame

Have you ever noticed that when something goes wrong we try to find something or someone to blame?
Today I was cutting the grass on a sit-on lawnmower and I looked behind me to check it wasn't dropping any of the cuttings behind me and drove straight over a tree root that was protruding through the grass bending the blades and completely churning up the grass! The tractor engineer came out to collect the lawnmower as it had to be taken away to be fixed. He said it was probably something to do with the timing belt I said, "No I don't think so..come and see this!" I showed him the tree root that I'd successfully taken a huge chunk out of , and the churned up grass beyond it as I'd driven on oblivious to what I'd just done (never heard the bang as I had my ipod on!).
He laughed and said, " at least you're admitting it!" I couldn't understand what else I could have done and he went on to say, " you'd be surprised how many times I pick up a lawnmower with bent blades and ask the person what they've hit and they immediately say, "nothing!" "
Now, I've been thinking about this today and I think sometimes our HM's are so full of what we were taught as we were growing up that we get "scared" about the idea of getting a row from a parent (or authoritative figure) so we automatically go into a defensive mode trying to deny we were part of anything that went wrong! Just say it as it is - you're a grown up now and have no need to hide or be frightened by telling the truth any more. We all make mistakes, it's a natural part of being human :)

" Take your life in your own hands and what happens? A terrible thing: no one to blame." - Erica Jong

Awareness

Last night I was pottering around in the kitchen thinking about all the things I had to do before tomorrow. Charlie's going off camping and I needed to sort out his clothes and make supper for us both and on and on went my head! I looked up for a moment and saw the weirdest shaped clouds in the sky with a lovely red and orange background - really beautiful.

It dawned on me how anxious I had been getting with all the thoughts whizzing around my head, the time was rushing by and I felt a bit overwhelmed with all that needed to be done. So I put down the dishes I'd been washing and went up to my bedroom. I opened the two large windows that look out over the setting sun and just enjoyed breathing in the cool evening air. Being still I could notice the slight sound of the rustling leaves in the breeze. I could even hear the cattle in the field ripping up the grass as they fed - everything fell back into alignment. My head had stopped worrying and I was focused purely on engaging all my senses in that moment of stillness. I only stayed up there for 15minutes, but that was long enough to remind myself that peace is always within my grasp. I had become aware I was getting uptight with all the tasks I thought I had, but rather than feeding into the loop I was able to stop and be still again. I should add that I've still not done everything! Charlie goes away at 4pm today - and I'm enjoying writing this, and I'm going out to play football with him in a few minutes! All the jobs will be done by the time he has to go :)

" Stop trying to push yourself somewhere. Then someday you will understand that simply by awareness you have already attained what you were pushing yourself toward." - Anthony de Mellow

Being a child

What a glorious day it's been today! I spent the day with a lovely friend who came up on the train from Edinburgh, we chatted and laughed, and laughed and chatted! We also had a few poignant moments as we empathised with each other over the sadder times of our lives.
I love being able to have days with friends when everything and anything can be discussed!
There's something very childlike about the kind of frankness one can share with a friend - but why do we restrict it to our nearest and dearest? Children don't!
Just once in the day surprise yourself by being completely frank to someone you know but are not that close to. This is not about you being offensive of course...I wouldn't want you to put your safety in jeopardy, but say something that is honest and true to what you're feeling at that moment. Notice what you feel when you do that - I find it liberating and fun, I hope you do too! :)

" A child can be a great teacher in your journey toward higher consciousness. A young child can give you a continuous demonstration of what it is like to live in the here and now before the rational mind affects the stream of consciousness." - Ken Keyes, Jr.

Passion

Yesterday I was talking with a dear friend of mine from Shetland about the work I do in Reverse Therapy.
I found myself feeling quite emotional when I explained to her how grateful I am to have this job. The word "job" doesn't really sit comfortably with it as I don't ever feel like I'm working (in the technical sense) when I'm having a session with a client. I feel completely at ease in my role and can see quite clearly what it is the person needs to be doing or saying differently in order to re-gain that alignment between their headminds and bodyminds - and once they apply what I'm teaching in the majority of cases the symptoms reverse. I must have the best job in the world!
I have tremendous gratitude towards the people I meet and I never cease to share their excitement when they come in and tell me they've not had symptoms since their last session!
I'm passionate about the work, and I'm told that comes across in the session. I can't hide my enthusiasm about it and although initially I think this can be a bit of a surprise for some clients I know that after an hour of working together they can relax and smile with me as I share my passion for their recovery.
I put up the photo of me cartwheeling in Shetland last summer as it felt the most appropriate for this blog today!

"What is your passion? What stirs your soul and makes you feel like you're totally in harmony with why you showed up here in the first place? Know this for certain: Whatever it may be, you can make a living doing it and simultaneously provide a service for others. I guarantee it." - Dr Wayne W. Dyer

Welcome!

Welcome to my first ever blog!

Peace and contentment are surely the only human qualities to strive for.
Amongst the daily turmoil we should take time to be still, breathe and tap into that peaceful place every day, even if it's just for a few minutes.

When we quieten our headminds (HM) and allow an alignment to happen between our HM's and bodyminds (BM) we can really focus on being grounded in this moment NOW! It's only in this place that we can let go of all the worries about the future and sadness from the past.

"Love yourself. Love your soul and let go of the past. Past pain is keeping you in pain. You don't have to deteriorate." - Yogi Bhajan