In a moment our lives and relationships can change forever. By accident or through illness in a heartbeat what we once took for granted as an immovable infallible union can become the most fragile and broken relationship we've ever experienced. Our hearts seem to scream and race; our heads scrape around in the dusty dark cave of hopelessness for some sense or reason for the news we're hearing.
Sadly most of us will experience this state of complete shock and desperation at some point in our lives, so then why do we grieve and ache over the small stuff?
Some of the strongest people I know are those who have experienced real hardship and trauma, the daily up and downs, disappointments and failures just roll away with a simple shrug of their shoulders and a muttering of ,
"Shit happens - deal with it and move on!"
I think this is the case because they've been in that state of scrambling desperately for an answer to the really big unanswerable questions faced during a life and death scenario. Perhaps, in a controlled environment we should be trained to deal with life's hardships at the appropriate level. For example, the loss of a loved one would get the highest rank with the person being encouraged to cry, shout, be angry and in turn they would receive the relevant support they needed. But they couldn't be given the highest rank of support, nor c
ould they be encouraged, or enabled to react at the highest level when they missed the last bus home from a night out!
On a day to day basis we have moments of joy, disappointment, frustration, annoyance, happiness, love and grief - that's life.
Practise the art of being emotionally honest at the appropriate level - it's far healthier than bottling things up on a day to day basis then having a massive outburst over something fairly minor in the bigger, more complex scheme of life.
"Look to this day!
For it is life, the very life of life,
In its brief course
Lie all the verities and realities of your existence;
The bliss of growth;
The glory of action;
The splendour of achievement;
For yesterday is but a dream,
And tomorrow is only a vision;
But today, well lived, makes every yesterday
a dream of happiness,
And every tomorrow a vision of hope." - Attributed to Kalidasa
Sunday, 12 April 2015
The radio in my living room is a bit ropey, it hisses and coughs it's way through my favourite programmes and shows.
I've tried hanging the aerial in different positions, but it never really improves things.
A favourite tune comes on and I somehow manage to ignore the background distortion and pick out enough of the music to be transported on a nostalgic journey to another place.
In my kitchen however the radio is a rather fancy DAB contraption. The clarity is second to none.
I can almost hear the broadcaster create another laughter line the precision of the sound is so exact.
I only notice the difference in the quality of the two radios when I walk from one room to another. If I stay in the kitchen all day I get lulled into the false belief that this is the quality of my radio listening life.
Maybe this is true of many aspects of life.
We ignore the annoyances that seem to be irreversible, we tolerate the background distortion and "make do" with the quality of life we believe is as good as it can get.
Why don't I just save up and buy another DAB radio? That is a feasible and very do-able way to fix the fluctuating quality of my radio listening life. Is there something you're tolerating because you think this is just the way it has to be?
"Where you are, be there totally. If you find your here and now intolerable and it makes you unhappy, you have three options: remove yourself from the situation, change it, or accept it totally. If you want to take responsibility for your life, you must choose one of those three options, and you must choose now. Then accept the consequences." - Eckhart Tolle