Tuesday, 29 May 2012

You are here....get involved!

Clients often present themselves to me saying they feel worthless, as if there is no point to their existence.  Well I believe each and every one of us has something we can give others and we often don't have to try too hard to achieve this.  Perhaps by writing a letter to someone you've not been in touch with for a while makes a bigger difference to them than you are aware - maybe a simple random act of kindness warms the heart of the recipient making them smile and reinforcing their belief that there are more good people in the world than bad.
Handing in a bag of clothes to a charity shop, offering to walk the neighbours dog, picking up some groceries for someone who isn't as able as you.  Being human and sharing with our fellow man makes you worth more... not less!  You do exist, and that means you are worthy.  Stop getting stuck in the headmind belief that if it's not got bells and whistles on it it is somehow a meaningless life.  The greatest lives, the people who make the biggest differences are often quietly getting on with it in the background, not glory hunters, just good people, sharing and lovingly appreciative of the simple fact that they are here and able to gently make a difference. 
"It is the greatest of all mistakes to do nothing because you can only do a little - do what you can." - Sydney Smith.
"If you can't feed a hundred people, then just feed one." - Mother Teresa.

Sunday, 6 May 2012

Forgiveness may not be the priority.

When I think about the suffering of others I can weep, and often do.  When I think about the suffering of children at the hands of an adult, or adults it goes beyond tears.  I have friends, the type who are so mild and gentle that I want to wrap a protective glove around their mug of tea to ensure their sensitive hands don't melt away with the heat, ironic then that they can suddenly transform into barbarian despots as they explain, in some graphic detail what they would do to someone who inflicted pain on their child.  On one level I admire their capacity to be so direct and focused on how they would punish the perpetrator of such a crime, on the other I feel a great deal of discomfort at the idea that hurting someone else, inflicting pain on a fellow human being could somehow make right their wrong.  I do believe adults who hurt children should serve a custodial sentence for their crime, and be kept away from all vulnerable members of the community indefinitely. But what of forgiveness?  The heaviness in my heart contains a sadness as deep as Loch Ness and as grey with confusion, but not anger, or a desire for revenge.  Confusion prevails as I know that on this subject there will always be more questions than answers.  One can never put oneself into the head of another, understanding what has driven them to wound another so deeply. So what can we do?  We can stop trying to understand their motives for a start.  That in itself is a futile occupation which will, in time, drain every drop of energy from you.  If you are close to someone who as been hurt this way pay attention to where they are now.  Are they well?  If so, celebrate their capacity to overcome an atrocity.  If they're struggling then ask what you can do to help?  Are you able to guide them in the right direction to get the help they need? Be there for them, and encourage them to speak to you and others they trust.  Healing the victim is a much more powerful and useful way to focus your energy than trying to forgive the perpetrator. That may or may not happen in time.  Don't tie yourself in emotional knots trying to find the capacity to forgive and excuse the unforgettable actions of another. As C.S Lewis said, "Every one says forgiveness is a lovely idea, until they have something to forgive." 

Saturday, 5 May 2012

The "Wow" factor!

There's no question that when I speak about a subject I love I can feel pretty uplifted, energised and focused. Interestingly then that for the observer listening to the person sharing their passion, we can notice them looking slightly different, with eyes sparkling, hands moving as they describe what makes their hearts sing while giving off an energy that is both inspiring, heart warming and comforting all at the same time. 
Recently while working with a lovely client, I experienced just this as he moved his thinking from the headminds analytical, "What I ought to be doing" state to "What I'd like to do.."  I could feel myself connecting to his bodyminds exhilaration as it witnessed him really understanding what had to happen in order for him to be in harmony with his core essence.  It's natural to have some anxieties about changing our path in life - it can become such a well worn path that it's hard to imagine ever deviating away from it.  However, the extent of the energy coming from this client as he described another direction his career could take was quite breathtaking.  I'm looking forward to hearing what steps he takes (and what he experiences en route) towards what feels like his most natural path. So often we opt for the safe, familiar route when sometimes just speaking about what appeals to us can be enough of a catalyst to get us doing something about it!
"Follow your heart, because if you always trust your mind, you'll always act on logic, and logic doesn't always lead to happiness." - Anon
"Go confidently in the direction of your dreams.  Live the life you have imagined." - Henry David Thoreau