Sunday, 25 November 2012

Control less, enjoy more!

There's one common theme that, when consistently applied will guarantee ill health.  That theme is the need to control.  The focus or perhaps a better word to use would be "subjects" being controlled may be our children, partners, colleagues and the people in our community or close social circle.  People can even try to manipulate and control the way their day pans out!
On closer inspection it usually comes to light that at some point the "controller" was badly hurt when something they thought was a certainty fell through. We've all been there at one time or another, and we all have a choice to make regarding how we react to an unexpected life experience.  Becoming a controlling person is both bad for your health and for the health of your relationship with others.
So, rather than tightening your grip on others behaviour and doing your best to reign them into line, relax and try (and this will take practise) to enjoy trusting that whatever unfolds will be the right thing for them and you.  You might even learn something refreshingly new about yourself....perhaps you'll find yourself enjoying being less involved in trying to control the world around you.
"Control is never achieved when sought after directly.  It is the surprising outcome of letting go." - James Arthur Ray
"You cannot control what happens to you, but you can control your attitude toward what happens to you, and in that, you will be mastering change rather than allowing it to master you." - Brian Tracy

Thursday, 1 November 2012

Academia, love, friendship and being.

There is no doubt that the world would be a far less advanced place without the achievements brought about by the brilliant minds of academics and scholars.  Culturally however we put far too much emphasis on their importance, and as a result I'm often faced with the fear and emptiness felt by someone who has been held in high regard by the community, the world even, because of their academic achievements. Suddenly they describe a hollow empty feeling created by the belief that they are their minds. This realisation can leave them scared of what their life will be when they're not as mentally sharp as they are today.  As a society we should be celebrating their great accomplishments, but why not also be grateful for their just being here?  What about the love they show their children, their friends, their family?  Isn't that equally, even more important?  They often believe so too, though sometimes they shed tears over missed opportunities with family, some who may now have passed away, the moment for sharing quality time together gone when they were busy being academic.  Balance is always the key, and it's also a very tricky thing to manage - though not impossible.
When we hear people say that academics take themselves too seriously, maybe we are partly to blame for that, maybe we have put them in that position, maybe we've helped them believe their minds are so brilliant we couldn't survive without them.  So, whatever your point of reference as you read this, give yourself time to remember what's really important in life.  Your health, the people you love, the relationships you have with others and yourself, surely these are the priorities?  Yours and others academic achievements will leave a legacy for future generations, but being here and loving those with you now has to be up there at the top of  the list of priorities, it certainly is for me.
"Some people stay in the academic world just to avoid becoming self-aware. You can quote me on that." - Michael McKean
"Try not to become a man of success.  Rather become a man of value." - Albert Einstein