Last night I went to bed at 11pm, read for a while then woke up at 2am and I was still awake at 4.30am..not sure what time it was when I eventually fell back to sleep. When I woke up at 2am I felt really excited. Why? Because I'd dreamt, and not for the first time, that I was on the Oprah Winfrey Show!!! I know, I know! I've not even seen her show since 1998 when I had satellite TV. Lying awake I planned what I'd wear, I felt the heat of the lights on me in the studio and I remember thinking, "I must speak slowly because I know I speak too quickly when I get excited and the US audience might not be able to cope with my Scottish accent!" So, that scenario kept my headmind busy in a wide awake state for a few hours.
I really think that my default setting is to be excited by life, happy and enthusiastic. Like every other human I've not been immune to my share of harrowing life changing events which at times have left me completely flattened and devastated. However, each time following a period of time where I've cried so hard I thought my face would never return to normal my eyes eternally puffy I have returned to my default setting. That zest for life, that excited feeling has never been quashed.
On Christmas Eve 1976 I was 8 years old, and the youngest of 3 children. I WAS EXCITED!! My brother and sister were standing looking out to the night sky and my brother shouted, "There's Santa flying past!" I ran to the window and I swear I saw Santa and his reindeer high in the sky flying in the moonlit sky - I WAS ECSTATIC!
Oliver Twist was on TV, my brother and sister were told to go and watch it. Mum summoned me to sit on her knee she had a few things to tell me. My heart was pumping in my throat, I was hot with excitement and I knew (as did my Mum) that sleep tonight was going to be virtually impossible. Mum proceeded to tell me the truth about Santa...but it didn't stop there..she then told me the truth about the Tooth Fairy...but it didn't stop there..she then told me about Dads willie and Mum's hedgehog being involved in my production. Oh my goodness! If ever there was a time when I thought my default setting would forever be a faint memory that Christmas Eve was it! I do wish my family had chosen a different name for the female genitalia.. I always gave Beatrix Potter's Mrs Tiggy Winkle series of books a wide berth as as result of them choosing that name!
The good news is that although that Christmas Day was a bit of a mish mash of confused images in my head I soon realised that I still got presents from "Santa", I still got a 10pence under my pillow from the "Tooth Fairy" and the other stuff I just didn't think about, so life was good again and back to being an exciting adventure.
When I think about the people I have lost in my life I am reminded that I have the gift of life and that makes me want to love it, live it and feel excited about being here.
"The creative, loving-something life is also the healthy one. There is healing and protection in doing what makes you happy." - Richard Bach