Monday, 21 October 2013

If you're bored - do something else!

When I'm reading a book I love that excited feeling as I wonder what's going to happen next.  The anticipation, the guessing, wondering which way it will go, curious to uncover what unexpected twist the author will use to keep the reader gripped..
If you feel stuck in a repeating, unfulfilling pattern, like reading the same chapter of a book over and over again, then start taking steps towards making a more fulfilling life for yourself.
If I did re-reading the same chapter then I'd become incredibly familiar with the text, so much so that in time I'd be able to recite passages from it.  The result would be boredom which in turn would quickly diminish my interest in discovering what happened next and have me tossing it aside in favour of something new, fresh and more stimulating.
I have heard numerous times, "I can't change now - I've been doing it this way for years!"  Or another favourite is, "Oh it's not THAT bad..there's a lot worse off than I am!"
Oh my! Those are just two phrases clients use that have my heart sinking whenever I hear them.  Just because we can repeat a task without engaging that healthy relationship between our body and mind, doing it mindlessly, not mindfully doesn't make it okay.
We've all had those moments of joy when we've accomplished something.  It doesn't matter whether it was, working out how to use your new iPad, knitting your first square, climbing your first Munro, running your first 5K, overcoming nerves to give a speech.  At some point you did something that gave you a sense of achievement when you'd completed it.
It doesn't have to be a life changing, earth shattering occupation - or one laden with physical or academic pressure.  Doing anything well, doing it whole-heartedly and having it leave you with a sense of accomplishment is surely what we should all be striving for?  If you haven't found that yet, but need to make ends meet in the meantime doing something less than ideal, keep focused on where you'd like to go next and don't take your eye off that goal. Make a plan of action - spend time at the beginning and end of each day to take steps towards reaching that place. Stay grounded and stay focused and each day enjoy feeling that sense of accomplishment as you look back on your day knowing you've done all you could do that day to take even a small step closer to your desired future.
"You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream." - C.S Lewis

Thursday, 3 October 2013


Recently my husband planted some bulbs in our garden.  They were pretty scabby, unremarkable looking objects.
The photo on the packet however told a different story.
Circular headed purple flowers, perfectly formed, beautiful Alliums destined to bring colour and joy to our garden next year, providing they fulfil their potential.
Everything in nature has potential to be amazing.
Sometimes individuals believe they can't reach their potential - lacking faith in themselves they make do with the hand they've been dealt.
The belief that we have to "make do" and give up trying to follow our dreams because life just isn't like that does not belong to you! That negativity has been "gifted" to you by the significant adults you listened to when you were growing up.  It belongs to them - and it's not what your core essence, that all loving, all knowing part of yourself believes - so please, no matter how old you are, start ignoring that repetitive thought!
Phrases I hear all too often in my work as a therapist start with,
"I'd love to but...."
"I've dreamt of doing that, but what would folk think of me giving up this career to do that?!"
"I can't - my Mum wouldn't like it - she's proud of me doing this job."
"Yes but, if I did that it might not work."
Do you think the Alliums have those thoughts?!  No!
All they ask for is a bit of nourishment, warmth and sunlight - and I can rest safe in the knowledge that they will reach their potential and be a magnificent spectacle in my garden.
If the weather is harsh on them I'll give them protection.  If the soil is lacking in nourishment I will provide nutrients by adding a fertilizer to help support their growth and encourage them to flourish into all they can be.
How wonderful a world this would be if we could simply provide the people we love with all the warmth, comfort and nourishment they need to enable them to be all they dream of becoming.
Supply a solid foundation, then step back.
You can hold them close to your heart and enjoy watching them flourish into exactly what they should be, can be and will be.
"Life is full of beauty. Notice it. Notice the bumble bee, the small child, and the smiling faces.  Smell the rain, and feel the wind.  Live your life to the fullest potential, and fight for your dreams." - Ashley Smith
"With realization of one's own potential and self-confidence in one's ability, one can build a better world." - Dalai Lama