Monday, 4 March 2013

Lovingly trying to control

It's hard not to get frustrated when someone you care about isn't taking responsibility for their own health - either through naivety of the seriousness of their symptoms, or perhaps they do have an understanding of what's going on and are simply choosing to bury their heads in the sand.
Whatever the reason, at some point you have to stop and try to understand that their journey belongs to them - and you are on your own path - sharing just some of the journey with them.
Ultimately we can only make our own choices and decisions for ourselves, we cannot persuade or manipulate another into doing what WE think is right for them.
At times clients tell me their loved one thinks they are "a control freak" for nagging them into going to the Dr's or having a check up.  This type of "controlling" is often borne out of desperation, that sense of needing to know their loved one has the best information regarding their health, in the hope they then make the best decision.
Being called a control freak often conjures up very negative connotations - but in fact in many cases the need to control is based on a fear of loss. The loss of someone who is cared about very much. So if you have a partner who is nagging you, stop for a moment and think about why they are so determined to have you checked out. Maybe your loved one just wants to make sure you can spend even more time enjoying this journey together.
"Most of us can read the writing on the wall; we just assume it's addressed to someone else." - Ivern Ball
"A man sooner or later discovers that he is the master gardener of his soul, the director of his life." - James Allen

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