Thursday, 7 February 2013

A night time journey.

Sometimes when I sleep I have the most profound and seemingly deeply meaningful dreams.  As I fly over cliffs, through cities, over rural countryside and woodland I occasionally stop on a tree, perching on a high branch I turn to face the trunk and rub my hand on the bark, feeling the rough and smooth areas with my finger tips, my sleeping self asks my dreaming self where I am, but the question is ignored and instead I just remain focused on the bark.  My sleeping self whispers to the dreaming me, "If only I could just take a tiny piece of bark back with me now and keep it clenched in my hand until I waken - that would be great!  Hang on, who would believe that?!"
"Oh where did you get that from Kathleen?"
"Eh..not sure exactly, I flew over a tree which was so beautiful I just had to hop on a branch and admire it some more - then I just took this tiny piece of bark to remind me of what a beautiful place it was."
In those dreams I do take a tiny piece of the plant, or the bark or the flower and hold my hand tightly shut, but despite my best efforts every time I come back into my wakened state my hand is empty. On each occasion I genuinely feel just a little bit disappointed.
These vivid dreams don't happen every night, maybe only 2 or 3 times a month.  I've had them for as long as I can remember, and the one familiar thread running through them is that I always waken feeling excited, and happy, comforted and content - without actually being able to pinpoint why.  It's as if I've learnt or been privy to some important information, something that has been shared with me and has somehow calmed and comforted me.  It feels as if there is a very thin veil between my wakened state and my dream state - perhaps if I turn quickly in the day time I might catch a glimpse of the place I visited as I slept?
Last night was one of those exhilarating beautiful dreams.  I was in conversation with my sleeping self throughout - weird but fantastic.  It was a beautifully bright clear night.  Initially flying over woodland then higher and higher I flew, through a cloud base which chilled me, and on and on higher still.  I told myself not to too far as Charlie was asleep in the next room (good to know that even in sleep my parental duties didn't leave me!) So my sleeping self took a hold of the wooden edge of my bed frame and whispered to my rapidly climbing dreaming self, "You're not going any higher tonight!"  So, I turned and looked at the view below before starting my descent.  Down and down,  through the cool, moist clouds flying just above the trees I see a river and the rooftops of somewhere rural.  It was then I heard people speaking though I couldn't see them.  What they were saying was intriguing and interesting.  I stopped flying and perched myself on a high branch, and as I listened intently to the faceless voices my sleeping self said, "Yeah, this IS amazing and all that they're saying is making so much sense now, but I just know I'll not remember the content of what's being said when I waken up - how annoying!"  My dreaming self smiled and said, "Lets see!"
With that I was wide awake in my bed.  I felt really good and I immediately started trying to recall what those voices had been speaking about, but trying to grasp it, trying to hear them repeat what I'd heard in my dream was futile - I just couldn't get the words to come. As I've gone through my day today and continue to feel great after last nights inexplicable epiphany, it dawned on my that our truth telling, all knowing bodymind can ONLY use feelings and symptoms to express itself, while the headmind is trying constantly to get our attention through its relentless chatter. So, I'm not going to get stuck in the headmind trap of needing to know, or cognitively understand what happened last night, my bodymind knows it felt and still feels great, and that's enough for me!  Sleep well tonight and I hope you all have enjoyable dreams! x
"Why do we close our eyes when we pray, cry, kiss, dream? Because the most beautiful things in life are not seen but felt by the heart." - Author unknown.
"What I take from my nights, I add to my days." - Leon de Rotrou

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