That relentless, tumultuous clattering going round and round, up and down, our hearts in our mouths one minute, then that sinking heaviness as we suddenly dip uncontrollably downwards.
This nightmare reminds me of the futile cycle of seeking the approval of others. This is especially true when the approval is sought from family members and loved ones.
Like children we present our best picture from school with baited breath and a fluttering anticipatory excitement in our tummy. We wait to hear the response while searching for the glee and pride to spread across the face of our loving parent - but nothing.
Down we dip...lower and lower.
This sequence of events can be carried from our childhoods up into our adult relationships; so unless we learn how to stop the out of control roller coaster we are destined for a life filled with perpetual attempts to do the "right" thing, in the hope that we finally gain that elusive seal of approval from our loved one(s).
Right now is the time to take back control of the choices you are making. Start doing what you want for your own fulfilment, and sense of well-being.
No hidden agenda.
No niggling thoughts of how this will be perceived by those you have being trying to please or gain approval from.
Live your life from your unique view. Take steps every day to do things that make your heart sing and leave you feeling uplifted. Live the life you are here to live.
Making choices based on the invisible belief we might get a pat on the back from someone is a waste of two priceless attributes - energy and time. We want to preserve both of those things, and I'd rather use my energy and time doing things that engage, challenge, stimulate and uplift.
We can only be accountable to ourselves for ourselves. By genuinely being ourselves there is a certain inevitability that we will please others - it just might not be your parents or loved ones.
However, if your improved health and the ability to step off the relentless roller coaster is the result then I encourage you to start making your plans now!
"A truly strong person does not need the approval of others any more than a lion needs the approval of sheep." - Vernon Howard
"Most fears of rejection rest on the desire for approval from other people. Don't base your self esteem on their opinions." - Harvey Mackay